How Do I Eat Healthy, When my Husband Doesn’t?

Surprisingly, this is a common question I get asked when people know I drastically changed my diet.  Pretty quickly, someone will ask how I eat the way I do, when Wafiq can eat anything he wants.

Let me start with this, when I use the word diet or eat specifically I’m referring to eating the way that works best for MY body.  I’m not suggesting a specific diet of any kind.  I don’t even have examples of diet’s because I don’t know any that are circulating right now.  “Diet’s” have never worked for me.  After my allergy attack, I decided to make a complete lifestyle change.  I was able to learn about food & what it does for the body, what makes me feel good, how to make it TASTE really delicious, & take the emotion out of it!   If you see me use the word diet, know that I’m referring to the diet in which I eat food that works for me.  No big black lines saying eat this or that, just guidelines catered to me.

I was visiting w a previous coworker of mine.  He’s very skinny & can probably eat whatever he wants without gaining a pound or having any diet issues.  Food is easy for him.  (You know how food is just easy for some people?  Ugh.)  He told me his wife was trying to eat right & follow a diet specific to her so she could lose weight.  Since he knows Wafiq is naturally very thin & can eat McDonald’s every day & live to be 105 years old, he asked me what we did when I decided to change my diet.   You know, where do you put the chocolate & french fries when your wife is trying to eat steamed broccoli w grilled chicken?

If one person in a relationship makes a commitment to start eating healthy, what does the other person do?  More specifically, what if one person decided to cut out dairy, or eat gluten-free?  Surely, one person can’t make that decision on behalf of both people, so what’s the solution?  How do you make it work for both?

When my coworker first asked me about this I had a difficult time responding, even though I already knew the answer.  I actually thought the answer was rude, or that I would hurt his feelings because I knew it wasn’t the answer he was expecting.  I tried to fumble through an explanation that accommodated HIM.  But the truth is simple:

You have to start eating healthier too.

I’m on a journey, one to be healthier & clean up my diet.  Wafiq knows how important that is to me & how hard it would be if I was sitting next to him meal after meal after meal of his french fries, grilled cheese, pizzas, & milkshakes.   He doesn’t necessarily NEED to eat broccoli & skip the french fries for weight concerns, but ultimately it is healthier.

Why would he go to McDonald’s when I’m at the Organic Cafe next door?

The other truth, I didn’t have to ask him.  I typically cook everything we eat so if you think I’m going to cook an extra meal of cheeseburgers & french fries for him to be satisfied?  Because my cooking is too healthy?  You’re mistaken.  I say that confidently now, but I had a little guilt through this in the v beginning.  All of a sudden, our gourmet meals filled with rice, yogurt, cheese & bread were minimized to grilled chicken & steamed veggies.

But I’ve been working on guilt (which I can share more on later), so I powered through & made my healthy meals served to him with a smile, guilt-free.  Since I’m the one grocery shopping, I buy healthy ingredients.  Therefore, he eats them too & I have yet to hear him complain.  Over time, he’s actually pretty interested in the food we eat.  He’s engaged & learning w me about food, cleaning up our diets & how it can help us live more energized lives, maybe not necessarily just because of the scale.

So my response to anyone who has this question – How do I eat healthy when my significant other doesn’t?  Has an easy answer.  They need to jump on the bandwagon with you.  Is eating healthy going to kill you?  No.  There are only benefits to be discovered & a bond to be made!  Is it challenging?  Maybe.  But in my opinion, it’s a poor excuse to say “well, I don’t want to eat that way”.  V immature, no?

If your significant other resists, stick to your guns!  Buy your groceries the way you want to, cook the meals the way you want them cooked, & let the other person fend for themselves.  Don’t have guilt because you’re taking care of yourself & your family.  Remember, committing to eating better should be a lifestyle change, especially if you want it to stick around for the rest of your life.  You want to go through that lifestyle change TOGETHER.

You’ll be glowing, healthy, radiant, & even more gorgeous than you already were!  Your partner will want to jump on board eventually or they’ll be left in the dust & divorced. ha!

I’m not saying Wafiq doesn’t drink real cow’s milk every so often, or throw a dairy & gluten filled pizza in the often some nights, or eat a few Kit-Kat bars before bed sometimes, but for the most part – he’s following the same diet I am.  Having his support, even when my diet was very limited following my allergy attack, meant so much to me.  His support made me feel like we were in this together & it wasn’t a big deal. (I tend to make things a VERY big deal.)

I view relationships as a supportive unit, in it together.  If one person wants to get healthy w a diet adjustment or an exercise routine, the other person should happily want to as well.

What do you guys think?  In it together or, to each their own?

Have a great week everyone!  Talk to you Thursday!

Xx