Expat

I tried to capture everything I possibly could on Instagram while I was in Dubai, but one thing I didn’t show?  Our wedding.  Mostly because it was almost a surprise.

Happy Independence Day beautiful America!  I say this all the time but I’m truly so lucky to have been born on the piece of dirt called America.  And I work to make sure I never take that for granted.

There are 3 questions I get asked all the time: how I was treated as a woman in the middle east, did I feel safe AND “did you have to cover up the whole time”.

I hope I’ve done a good job clarifying, go to this post to see my answers to all 3 of those questions if you haven’t already.  (We went to the public beach on this trip & there were girls in thong bikinis & topless tanning, so I think people are comfortable doing whatever they please.)

For me, I wanted to fit in.  I wanted to act like I’ve been there before & I know what the fuck I’m doing.  There’s something powerful in that.  Also, for any destination, isn’t it fun to fit in?  Wear what they wear.  I think it makes you appear well traveled, like you know what you’re doing in you life.  So that was my goal this trip.  I stuck to coverage.  When I was living there, I pushed this boundary w my cut off shorts & dresses all the time, because I was bored of being covered & it was HOT AF.  Being that I was just visiting, I had a different approach this time.

The theme:  BLACK BLACK BLACK.  If this is the color of your wardrobe, you’re in luck!  I like bright colors, florals, sparkles, drama – so I had to go shopping.  An abaya & burka are black, so that’s the colors you’ll see a lot of when you’re out.  I asked someone why black?  Why not beautiful colors + design on the abaya?  I was told the original purpose of the abaya was to avoid attention.  Bright florals & colors will do the opposite, drawing attention to the people wearing them.  So black is the theme!

The saying “time flies when you’re having fun” is terrible & true isn’t it?  I remember miserable days/years in different jobs, & man did time drag.  But, of course, when you’re having fun & enjoying all the parts of your life, time goes quick!  So, would you rather a boring yet long life or short yet exciting life? Ha!  Nothing like that awful question to wake you up on a Thursday morning.

I’m back from Dubai! Long story short, it was fun & it went fast.  Which in this case is better than the alternative.

Everyone that followed along on my Instagram Stories, thank you! That was fun to create.  If you missed it, I left a lot of the stories in my “highlights” section.  Click on my Instagram profile & right below the bio you’ll see the circle for Dubai & Bahrain with the stories while I was there.

If you’ve been reading for awhile you likely know this trip was a big step for me.  Last time I was in Dubai I left in a rush & didn’t exactly leave every relationship in it’s best place.  And that feeling strengthened even while I was back in the States, especially when Wafiq decided he was going to stay & begin the immigration process.  Needless to say my relationships weren’t in tip top shape across the pond.

Last year, I decided to skip the trip Wafiq took home for that very reason,  I wasn’t ready to walk back into my past OR the lions den.

This year I was ready.  Wafiq & I are both comfortable & confident in the choices we’ve made in the past & knowing we’re in control of the choices were going to make in the future – I felt like there was nothing to fear anymore.  No judgment or conversation or threat or whatever was going to hurt me.  And I don’t mean to paint the picture as if everyone was going to do just that, but when you’re struggling & feeling weak & not confident with yourself – it’s hard to defend decisions in front of anyone.  And we lived in that space for awhile so I had to protect myself.  But this time I was ready.

Right when we arrived, I felt like I was living in Dubai yesterday, but better.  And more comfortable.   Everyone was excited to see us.  The first days were filled with food.  Family. Friends. Kids.  And Food.  I definitely did not have a chance to pick up my phone & document anything.  But because those first days were easy, I immediately knew the rest of the trip would be too.

I’m doing a throwback post today.  I’ve been editing prior posts & came across this Olive Oil + Hair story.  I died laughing because I vividly remember smelling like a kitchen & trying desperately to convince myself that I could NOT walk around all day/w olive oil in my hair.  Way too much alone time.  But the post made me laugh so I figured I’d repost it today & hopefully enhance your day w/a little humor – Enjoy!

I saved my life.  More like my hair’s life.  I have super long, thick, blonde hair that has been severely neglected since my move to Dubai.

I rarely wash it. I try to go as many days as possible in the most extreme ways not to wash my hair. (The key is finding different ways to wear your hair the second & third/fourth/fifth day without a wash.)

The problem happens on the days I choose to wash my locks.  I’ve been using shampoo that I believe physically assaults my hair. I’m nearly positive my hair is crying when I put the shampoo through it & it continues to cry until it gets oily again. In truth, my hair has probably been crying since I landed in Dubai.

I used to buy expensive shampoo + conditioner because I spend a lot of money highlighting & want to stretch the color as long as possible. I don’t want to waste the money I spent highlighting, by ruing my hair with bad product. Miss High Maintenance, Hiiii

That all went out the window when I got to Dubai. I RARELY do my hair. And when I do put in effort, it  means half blow drying it & leaving it down. Most often I braid it or put it up in a bun.

The neglect started when I ran out of my good ol American shampoo & couldn’t find the one I was previously using. Shortly after that, I found a few pieces of my hair that I think missed my last trim, so I cut them myself..?   I’ve never done that before.  Between nasty shampoo and a self trim, I  thought my hair was treacherous.  I started putting it in a ponytail every single day, which again I don’t think is good for your hair. The color started fading (probably just in my head) and it turned into Rapunzel length.  In a bad, ratty way.

So I booked an appointment to get my hair cut & highlighted.  BUT, I was completely terrified to show up to a nice salon with my hair being dried out, self cut & brassy. I went to Pinterest in last minute efforts to find a solution that could fake maintained looking hair until it was fixed.

Olive Oil.

When I read this poem it made sense to me.  I was always moving, moving, moving, & going, going, going… I swear even if other people didn’t see it, all they had to do was be in my mind.  FULL of plans & what’s next, constantly.  So afraid of stillness because it meant being stuck.

Let’s start with figuring out exactly who & where Muslims are.  Muslims come in all shapes, forms, colors, backgrounds, beliefs, families, countries, parents, and lifestyles.

There are pro’s and con’s to being busy.  I’ve noticed the busier I am the quicker time goes by & I can’t stand when time goes too…

However, I stand by my suggestion:  Stop in the local grocery store of the country you’re visiting or living in.

From there, you can learn what locals use to cook. What they grow up eating. If there’s any no-no’s. Or any must-eats.

What an adventure that was! I’m in the U.S. now, have been for a while, and am FINALLY able to look back on the experience of living in Dubai and come to terms with the fact that I DO miss particular parts. 

I don’t think there are words creative enough to describe how relieved I am.

I worry all the freaking time. You name it, I’ll worry about it.