One Year Later, Anaphylactic Shock

We’re in March.  And March is a big deal for me.  It used to be because March is the month SXSW festival hits Austin, TX and the city turns into a jungle gym of adventure. People flood the city, coming from everywhere, and little Austin Texas doesn’t seem so little anymore.

But this year March is a big deal because it’s been 1 YEAR since I had Anaphylactic Shock.  A year ago today, I was just getting into the swing of SXSW with the pre-parties & early events.   I remember the weather was gloomy & made me feel like staying home might be a better option than joining the crowds.   Gloomy weather can be a gift to an introvert because it makes staying inside less unusual, ha!

I remember I had just gone to the Wellness Expo the day before & was planning to go back after brunch that morning.  I was considering buying the Everly Well at home Allergy Testing, which is a funny coincidence considering my next year was about to be filled with allergy testing on top of allergy testing.  Although, the at-home tests wouldn’t have prevented a reaction that day as I’m still not sure what caused it.

That morning, Wafiq & I woke up & went to grab breakfast downtown before heading back to the Wellness Expo & later a movie with a friend.  I ate my small, noodle lunch & drank my mimosa before we headed out the door of the restaurant.  On the way to the car, we stopped in a little boutique shop, had a tiny glass of champagne with strawberries floating on top, & I tried on these killer heels I was debating buying.  Then, very immediately, I felt my entire body… hurt.  My stomach started cramping, I ran outside, the inside of my ears itched uncontrollably, like no other itch I’ve ever had.  An itch that couldn’t be reached.  And a big, painful cough took over.  One that felt like knives were being pushed up & down my throat.  In the back of my mind, I knew this cough was unusual, not a regular allergy symptom I was used to.  We ran to the car thinking I needed Zrytech, not even knowing what Anaphylactic Shock was at the time.  But as soon as we got in the car I noticed my lips, tongue, face & eyes started growing rapidly.  I could see my reflection in the rearview mirror & the puffy form my face started shaping.  Realizing it wasn’t just in my head.  I then noticed hives all over my body, my neck and my feet the worst.  We knew we had to get to a doctor fast because my entire body was, breaking.  It was obvious.  As Wafiq focused on getting us out of the parking garage, I put a doctor in the GPS & the second I saw 4 minutes away I knew I would be ok.   Wafiq almost blew through the glass front doors of building with the car trying to get us inside & as soon as we did I was shot with an Epi-Pen & my body started morphing back to normal.

The first time I told that story I was so afraid, so I wanted to retell it with a year of time on my side.  I’m incredibly relieved it’s been a year since that day.  I wanted this day to come the entire year.  I wanted TIME to pass, to give me hope this reaction wasn’t going to be a weekly occurrence.  Unfortunately, I had another Anaphylactic Shock response a month after that one, at my friend’s wedding.  I had a better handle on the situation then, knowing what I needed to do & what to expect, but it left me scared to my core & like my body was turning on me.  I felt like I was so nice to my sweet body & fed it well & loved it & cuddled it – how could it be acting like this?

Well, since then, I’ve had allergy flare-ups but luckily no major anaphylactic shock experiences.  March, one year later, is a big deal because so much has changed.  I’ve been carrying around a freaking Epi Pen everywhere I go now, everywhere!  Going through security checkpoints, on my walks around the lake, nights out.  Being a person with an epi-pen still feels new, not like a YEAR has gone by.  I shouldn’t be caught off guard again & I have that education in the back of my mind.  My epi-pen is my comfort blanket now & it makes me feel smart.

One problem with my brain is the perspective part.  Since this has happened & I’ve seen several doctors, they all tend to share their horror stories to help put mine in perspective.  Here’s the problem, you tell me a horror story?  I’m literally going to wait for it to happen to me.  That perspective shit doesn’t work for me, it actually allows my brain to realize worse can & will happen.  I’m working on fixing that, but in the meantime, I like to imagine the worst is behind me.  The worst HAS happened, it’s only going up from here. Praise be.

Thank you for following me through this insane {food} year, I say that because I know I had a lot of emotionally charged posts.  I can say after going through several doctors without a lot of answers, we are our own best advocates for our health.  We know our bodies better than anyone & we have to take charge of them.

I’d also like to mention – let’s all remember to be grateful for our health when we wake up in the morning.  I know it sounds cliche, but health alone is such an immeasurable gift.  We don’t need much more than that & a sprinkle of love to have a great day.

Have a great week everyone!

Be thoughtful

Xx