My First Dating App Pic & A Little Dating History…

Did You Know?   “Over 44 percent of women and 38.4 percent of men are looking for serious, long-term relationships when using a dating service” (via)

Last week I did something a little anxiety provoking by logging onto Facebook & scrolling through years of pictures.  I don’t use Facebook very much anymore, and have never been a die-hard Facebooker.  For a few years after graduating college I deleted my Facebook all together.  No matter how much mind control you have, scrolling through a feed of highlights from everyone else’s life takes its toll on you.  I felt myself questing decisions I was making & comparing, comparing, comparing! – so I let Facebook go. At the time it was fantastic.  Since then I’ve rarely been using it & do my best not to get sucked into scrolling through my feed.

Ok, so this leads me to the other night, I stalked myself.  I wanted to see what was up with Miss Katie in her good ol Facebook days.  Years ago Facebook used to be a place where people posted full albums of a night out, dinner, vacation, dog, friend, time at the park.  Not 1 photo, but an album of 50.   These days Facebook is more business-y? And people sharing articles.  Instagram took over photos I think.  So I stalked back to the days of albums.  I should continue by saying, I don’t like erasing past decisions, which is why I try not to delete anything that I posted myself.  If I wanted to post it at the time, that’s how I was living life! OUI!

I felt pretty good after stalking.  Solid life experiences I’ve been documenting.

BUT THEN, I came across this photo of myself on my apartment balcony and immediately remembered.  MY FIRST DATING APP PHOTO.  I think I was 21?  Somewhere around there, and guys I put so much effort into this photo! The outfit, the lighting, the smile, the head tilt!  Probably even the nails…  I remember getting this shirt for $5 at Forever 21 & I never loved anything more.

I put myself on EHarmony.  EHarmony at 22.  I remember feeling like the guys I was meeting on my own weren’t interested in anything more than going to church with their parents on Sunday mornings OR binge drinking on Monday nights.  Not for me you know, can we land somewhere in the middle?  So EHarmony (and blind dates) were my jam.  I pretended I was on The Bachelor and had a new date every week, on Thursday nights.  I had that system running for a long time…  Thursday was perfect by the way, the date didn’t interrupt one of my already planned fun weekend nights but was late enough in the week to actually relax & enjoy the night. Highly recommend setting up a similar schedule if you’re single.

The problem with Eharmony was that no one wanted to date me.  I think I was too young for the site?  One of the dates that I landed was with this guy that met me for appetizers.  When I first arrived, he was as expected – 5 inches shorter than his profile description & my worst nightmare, wearing sandals.  I proceed confidently, I was willing to look past those things.

He barely spoke, only half smiling the entire time.  Seemed confident.  I don’t think he listened to anything I said.  But I was so excited for this date!  I remember that. I can’t remember why, I think because he was older and it made me feel like he had to be more mature & maybe potential for a 2^nd date??

Well we ate the apps, he took me to a nearby bar so I thought this meant things were going well, he would loosen up a little!  The second we sat down I saw a smile for the first time of the night.  He looked up for the first eye contact of the evening and asked “what my sexual preferences were”.

He was probably 34 and I was a fresh 22 but I still think I was more mature than him.  I remember looking at him with such a disappointed face.   I was hopeful for so much more than a desperate short guy in sandals asking me something a 16-year-old with his 1^st boner would ask.  But here we were.  I think he thought I would respond in a shy, quiet porn star girl way, but I didn’t.  I actually tried to explore the question: “Sexual Preferences?  Men or Women? How often I want sex while in a relationship?  What direction are we going here?”.  I was open to discussion, and he was done.   I quickly exited Eharmony & decided to wait until I was 50 years old to start dating.

I don’t often share my many dating stories, but when I do, they’re honest ones.  I’ll never forget that date because I was so excited about the potential in an older guy & was yet to realize how slow maturity takes for some of us.  When he left, I bent down to give him a hug goodbye and it was like hugging a cement garbage can.  I wanted to go home & shower of his vibrating energy but instead when out and took a shot with some of my girls (& probably Wafiq, little did I know would later be my boyfriend).

This photo brought back all those crazy dating stories!  I’m a huge supporter of dating apps, online dating, whatever it is… Meeting new hottie guys to date was difficult, so why not take it online!  Also, a huge proponent to blind dates and dates in general.  With all the bad dates, I had a lot of good ones with guys that were so kind & sweet.

What a frustrating, yet exciting time. Ha!

Anyone have good dating stories? I know they’re out there, and I love sharing them…  Dating is so awkward! It’s like a trick you have to master.  Who’s the master at dating & what are your tips?!  I need to share mine because there was definitely a point where I mastered being confident walking into one.

Have a great weekend everyone, and be thoughtful today + always.

Xx

Date Night Helpers: