Valentine’s Day When You’re in a Relationship

Did You Know?  John Betar (104 yrs old) and his wife Ann Betar (100 yrs old) have been named one of America’s Longest-Married Couples by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter for being married 83 YEARS!  (via)

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

This is my favorite holiday because it’s all about LOVE & being kind.  Take the extra step to be thoughtful to everyone around you, ultimately that’s what Valentines Day should be about.

I tend to support single people during Valentines Day, because I think they bitch the most?  Like, I’ll stay in with my bottle of wine & The Notebook & cry myself to sleep style.  BUT this time I’m coming after people in a relationship.  Because, when you’re in a relationship for a long time, little gestures can get lost & Valentines Day can end up feeling dumb?  Single people – you’re GOOD on Valentines Day. The possibilities are endless, I used to love this holiday when I was single, read this post: HERE.

You know the CRAZY part about being in a relationship?  The amount of time you’re choosing to give someone besides yourself.  When you spend every day with someone, sleeping next to them, waking up next to them, making decisions with them, creating a family with them, living with them – in a way, you’re choosing to dedicate your life to them.  Think about it.  Because if you recall, we only have ONE life.  How intense is that?

I started thinking about this because I often hear people bitch about their significant other.  Often times joking, sometimes serious.  This typically happens after a few years together, right?  The fucking dishes, the annoying friend, the job.  At my age, it’s typically deciding about taking the step to marriage, or once in a marriage it’s about the pile of other conflicting situations that come up. But at the end of the day, we have one life.  When we’re in a long relationship,  we’re choosing to lay down next to the same person every day, for years & years.  We’re giving our lives to each other.  I can’t think of anything more significant than that, in our entire lives.  Or anyone more important to get along with.   Your kids will come, but they’ll also go create a family.  Your own family will do the same.  Your friends will come & go… But damn, that one “person” you lay down next to every night will be laying down next to you forever.  They’ll be there when people come, and they’ll be there next to you when everyone goes.

What a commitment. And what a journey.

That makes me realize bitching & moaning about little things is pointless.  Worrying about small annoyances shouldn’t matter.  Let it go, let it go.  We should be gentle with our partners, we’re giving them a humongous part of our one life. You know what I mean?

When we’re 80 years old, looking back at our life, that one person is going to be next to you, still.  Through all the change.  Through all the other people.  Through all the decisions.  There’s that one person, still there, looking at you.

I heard a song that sings “ask me what I did with my life, I spent it with you.”  Truth baby.  (fantastic song: here) So this Valentines Day post is for those people in a relationship – be friends. Be kind. Be thoughtful.  Be supportive.  Ultimately, you’re next to the person you’ll be next to until you’re both fucking old, wrinkled, sitting in a wheelchair, bitching about Carol.   So be friends starting now, and love each other starting now, because this life is yours to tackle – together.

I love you. Happy Valentines Day.

Be thoughtful,

Xx

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