Thoughtful Challenge: Holiday Stress
With the beautiful holiday season upon us, I thought it would be a good time to encourage a thoughtful challenge.
With the gatherings that naturally happen around the holiday season & the exchange of gifts & meals shared there are plenty of times to be thoughtful of others. You’re continually being thoughtful of the best gifts to give the people on your lists, the tastiest meals for people you’re serving, & planning get-togethers with your close friends.
BUT, what about YOU!
Are you being thoughtful of YOURSELF? During the holidays it’s easy & IMPORTANT to make sure everyone feels included & special. People without families are invited to join yours. People that can’t afford celebrations are gifted something extra. Someone who doesn’t get hugged very often gets an extra big squeeze.
However, my thoughtful challenge for you this season is to take pressure off of yourself to be perfect through the holidays. To make sure you’re taking care of yourself FIRST, then everyone else. I’ve said this several times before, but the way you feel about yourself will directly correlate to how others feel being around you. If you want to give the people around you that extra spirit of holiday JOY then you have to make sure you’re feeling that joy yourself.
Let this be a reminder to do that. If that means you don’t make every holiday party, or you have to cancel plans, or didn’t get the perfect gift – forgive yourself. Honestly, who fucking cares. If someone in 2018 still cares deeply about that shit, you don’t need them.
I think I used this example somewhere last year… I was pretty deep in my anxiety around holiday season one year, and I had planned to attend a really important friend’s gathering. I said I would bring cookies. I was so tired after a long day of work, and a busy week of gift shopping. I was driving to the store to buy the ingredients, barely making it before the store closed, & I felt my anxiety building really quickly. I talked to myself. I was going to therapy & spending A LOT of time working on my anxiety, so I paused my racing thoughts & focused on what I was doing. As we were turning into the grocery store I told Wafiq I wanted to skip the store entirely & go home. I wanted to freaking sleep. Get a good nights rest & screw the cookies. And that’s what we did. I showed up to the party, sans cookies, and no one cared or even noticed. I was well rested, feeling myself, comfortable, and happy! I enjoyed every part of it! So… FUCK THE COOKIES this year. Cookies, specific presents, the glamorous parties – whatever it is! You can SKIP it.
Speaking of holidays, about a month after my first panic attack, when I was THICK in my anxiety, I had to make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving. (I will never ever forget this!) I was practically blacked out making potatoes. Like a robot throwing in ingredients. In reflection, I was having a TOUGH year. I should’ve skipped the freaking potatoes completely, although I know how important they are to a Thanksgiving, even they aren’t worth it. I should’ve skipped Thanksgiving completely. If you’re having a year like that? You know the kind, fucking tough. SKIP as much as you need to. I swear on every bone in my body, it’s ok.
I remember there’s also a period of guilt associated with skipping different things. I still struggle with this, but if you’re being honest with yourself & how you’re feeling you have no reason to feel guilty. I would suggest always making sure you’re being honest & being thoughtful of what you’re feeling & why. Then, act on that.
Alright! That’s my reminder for you guys, it’s holiday time! There is no better time than now to make sure we’re slowing down & checking in with ourselves!
If you want an extra boost of YOU time, read this post: Making It Through The Holiday Season Stress Free! (I read that one every year 🙂 )
Be thoughtful,
Xx