The Perks Of Social Media

One thing I don’t understand?  Mean people on social media.  The entire act of saying something horrible through a social media outlet, especially to someone you don’t know, is one of my biggest mysteries.  If only I could meet someone who does that & figure them out…

Being a child with social media today has to be the most straining social experiences in history.  Everyone in high school already knew I had 1 or 2 friends MAX, now there’s an actual number associated with that?  VOMIT IN MY MOUTH.

Social media needs tweaking.  Or we’re going to have a planet of uncomfortable, anxiety-ridden, depression diagnosed people.  In America, we already do.  BUT today, I’m not going to bash social media, I’m going to try shinning the light!

This entire thought came to me when I was at the park doing my workout.  I was stretching, hanging with Bernice, and saw 3 teenage girls across the park taking pictures of themselves.  For some reason, I immediately connected with them.  Shy, sweet, self-conscious, supportive, kind.  I’ve watched plenty of teenagers use social media in a way that I absolutely can NOT connect with:  incredibly confident, outgoing, eager – yikes.  That’s when my heart aches because I know I couldn’t have handled that when I was younger.  I can’t handle that now.  Too opposite!

The 3 teenage girls I saw at the park were different.

I watched as one of the girls hesitantly stood back to take the photo, and another one gave encouraging instructions – where to find the light, how to stand tall, be confident!  I could see in the body language of the girl getting her photo taken – she was changing.  At first, incredibly shy & nervous but growing more confident & comfortable as her friends praised her.

I thought, in some twisted way, taking these pictures is giving the girl confidence.  Confidence in herself, her smile, her hair, her outfit choice, her friends, her posture, her body.  Confident enough to take a picture.  She started hunched over, with half a smile, arms crossed in front of her, and a few photos in she had a huge smile on her face, shoulders back, looking proud.

I imagine myself in that experience.

Pictures are hands down my least favorite thing in the world to be a part of… BUT they’re also the most special thing.  I absolutely love having video & pictures from years ago.  With friends, family, in my old rooms, animals, hang out places, old cars – everything!

I learned this in college from a roommate.  She had SO MUCH CONFIDENCE.  She would take pictures 24/7 – before we had Instagram.   I learned a lot from her & her friends, most of it was confidence.  I remember at one point she was taking photo’s with her sisters that they thought would be sexy, beautiful, and fun to have… She sat down next to me in our room and was dying laughing, showing me how horrible the idea & pictures turned out.  Instead of thinking to herself “how ugly are we??” or “what a dumb idea” or “why can’t we look better” – they were all able to laugh it off, check it off as a fun creative experience that didn’t turn out, and take new ones with new ideas.  There was no criticism.  This blew me away!

I started asking myself –

Why am I shying away from the camera?

Am I afraid of what I’m going to see?  Why?

What the actual hell is wrong with me if I’m afraid to see ME in a picture?

So I started being in them.  All of them.  Smiling as big as I could, standing as tall as I could, with everything & anything that was around me.  I can remember it all, even how nervous I was in every single one.

Social media is that same college experience, now.  Taking pictures has been a consistent confidence-building practice, ask my photographer Wafiq, he can confirm.   I always catch myself being embarrassed or critical, trying to talk myself up, but with every single picture I get more & more confident.  In it, in the picture, with myself.  I learn to let go of what’s perfect in my head.

Social media does that for me, and hopefully, it did that for those teenage girls at least in that one moment.  For adults, social media doesn’t have to be all bad.  We have to manage it.

I ignore anyone that’s too perfect (ignore meaning unfollow).  And I unfollow anyone that doesn’t make me feel good.  Simple as that.  Go read this post on Cleaning Up Your Social Media Feed if you’re looking for motivation to have a positive social media life.  The most important thing to remember is that no one’s life is exactly how it appears.  NOT ONE PERSON.

Social media is fiction. Like reality TV, ha!

Take the parts you like and leave the parts you don’t, tweak it for yourself to be entertained & happy.

Between the good group of people I follow, the creative outlet I get to engage in, and the confidence building pictures – social media isn’t the worst creation of all time.

With social media always getting a bad rap, I thought it would be a good idea to point out the perks.  With a little tweeking, social media can be a useful tool.  We, human beings, just have to figure out how to manage it rather than it manage us. 🙂

What do you think?

Be thoughtful today,

Xx

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