One Thing I Wish Would Go Away: Positive People

You will never influence the world by trying to be like it

I read my own writing from a few years ago & want to throw up.  “I just want to be positive, like all the time, and be bright & think about the positive part of everything. Fuck negativity.”

But this year, 2018, I’m OVER IT.

I was following this one chick on Instagram that shares how she remains positive about everything.  Yes, even positive about her one little zit she named, Joseph. OMG!  How can she be SOoO positive in such a difficult time?!  Don’t worry, she’s always sharing tips on how she keeps her positive attitude so you can be just like her.

I don’t think she’s ever heard someone say Fuck.

If she did, she would probably pray afterwards.

The thing is, I wanted to be like her.  Positive AF.  Because even if there’s negative shit happening in the world, I don’t want to talk about it.  All we hear are opinions & negativity & annoyances, so I wanted to contribute to the positive side of things.

I asked Wafiq what he thought.  Should I keep striving for this positive image or should I just… be myself.

That’s when it hit me.  These “positive” people are the same people that would have voted to convict the man in my experience on Jury Duty – to 26 years in jail.  The same people I didn’t know existed.  They’re the same people who are either perfect or are trying to appear perfect.  And I just can’t stand for that anymore.

I was following a ton of bloggers & people on Instagram like this.  Perfect, Positive, Perfect, Positive.  And for awhile I was inspired to be the same way.

But wait a minute, this doesn’t make sense in real life.  In real life, there’s a lot of people that don’t have perfect circumstances.

Shit fucking sucks for some people.  And you might not know that, either because you’re avoiding that part of them or you surround yourself with “perfect” people – but you can trust me.   Focusing on the positive, is always the goal.  I still try to talk & think that way.  But, not so positive that I’m avoiding reality.  I’m not avoiding listening to someone open up about a struggle.  And I want to understand someone’s {not so positive} decision. Because that’s real life.

It’s ok to be angry, be emotional, be frustrated, be imperfect.  Obviously the idea is to always think about the positive – but that doesn’t mean we get an award for thinking about the positive of one lil baby zit on our faces.

Show some real life shit you’re going through.  And if you’re not going through anything because you know, your life is perfect, then go find someone who is going through shit & feel it with them.   Talk about the positive of that.  Not just your baby zit, not your smidgen of cellulite, not your busy day.

Two things I’ve very OVER in 2018:  PERFECT & POSITIVE

If I could wish them away I would.  In my gut, I’ve had this feeling for YEARS!  I strived to be & look perfect.  And talk about only the positive things – but it never felt right.  Like a huge chunk of real life, meaningful conversations & living – was missing!  And this year I’m coming to terms with that.  I’m over it 100%.

Show me some real life shit, tell me an embarrassing story – but like a real embarrassing story.  Not one that goes: “omg I tried on a size Medium shirt today & it was TIGHT! I freaked out! Medium?!?  Then I checked the tag again & it was Child’s size XXS – mislabeled. Ahhh so embarrassing”

My real life embarrassing story? I had to do a walk thru at a new house w/the builder & client but had a lot of anxiety about it, because anxiety is a bitch like that. I walked up to the house where the builder was standing outside & we were waiting for the client to arrive so we had to do something I hate more than anything – small talk.  He said “You can put your bag down inside the house”  I responded while patting my bag “No. I keep it on me for safety.”  I meant to say, I keep it as a safety net – with my phone, notes, pen, water, ect.  But instead, it looked like I was packing a gun & warned him I’d be willing to use it.  I only realized that after he stepped back as his eyes got wide.  And I did not recover from that.  Trust me when I say, things went from worse to worser.  This story happened yesterday, I have them daily.

So… continue to have a positive outlook in your life & on unfortunate circumstances, but don’t let that positivity get in the way of real life conversations.  Real life ways to interact with people & LISTEN to them.  You know what I mean?

On the flip side, winning the negativity award isn’t ideal either.  Although explaining how you’re a miracle worker because you’ve remained positive through the life span of one zit on your face isn’t an award winning personality trait, neither are the people who think they’re living under the worst earthly circumstances because they didn’t get their daily facial at the salon & now have one zit on their face so they curse out everyone around them to spread their pain.

We need to have perspective here.   Maybe instead of positive & perfect – we aim for perspective?

Being thoughtful, open mined, listening, accepting, having perspective << these are all goals I would love to start seeing in 2018.  I’m also trying to work away from expecting perfect, but it’s a challenge to be vulnerable & honest.  Especially when it’s not what we’re used to seeing.

But I’ll cheers to that & happily welcome anyone trying!  I am slowly adding a whole new genre of bloggers & instagrammers to my palette & how refreshing it’s been!

CHEERS!

Have a great weekend & get fucking wild!

Also, Be Thoughtful (as always)

Xx

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