My Number 1 Advice To Anyone about ANYTHING
This is a big post for me, I’m letting you in on a little secret – My number 1 advice to anyone, about anything.
Not that you’re asking me for advice, but in the event you did, here’s my answer. Even with Wafiq, I give this same advice. Through the years I noticed my answer is the exact same, no matter the conversation. I do my best to wipe away all my bias & opinions & emotion to give whoever it is the most honest response I would also give myself. And it always goes the same way. I start out rambling off a few opinions, ideas, or thoughts – but always end with this.
My number 1 advice to anyone, about anything: Do What YOU Think Is Best.
Before you turn away, let me dig into that advice & give you a few examples of how I’ve applied it myself because I think people underestimate this advice. First, whether you know this or not, the most challenging part of any big decision is the way others will think about you. Most of us have little voices in our head that immediately come up with excuses saying “what will your parents think?”, “what if people say ‘i told you so’ if I fail?” or “everyone is going to think I’m an idiot”, “they’ll make fun of me” or “literally everyone will tell me not to do this”. In order to follow MY advice? You have to silence all those people, excuses & little voices in your head. NONE of it matters, the only thing that matters is your gut feeling & what you believe is the best decision. You don’t have to worry about failure or what others will think – none of that matters after your decision is made. You could have failed if you made the opposite decision! Failure is not to fear, ignoring your gut is.
Let me give you some examples.
When I graduated high school it was my first moment of following my own gut. Not one single person told me to pursue college outside of Minnesota. I was pressured until my last day to stay. I was a shy kid that never had a sleepover so to any outsider I’m sure it looked like I wouldn’t make it in Texas, away from home. I knew I was shy, but I also knew I didn’t like high school & I needed to push myself in a major way if I wanted to grow. {I may have been shy, but I was strong.} So I aggressively pursued college out of state, on my own. Until my last day, packing my bags, people thought I was fucking insane. {The only insane part turned out to be spending millions on college, the moving out of state was the best decision I could’ve ever made for myself.}
Another example? I was told to skip studying abroad in the Dominican Republic. There was a long list of excuses including the argument that no one from my university was going & I didn’t speak the language & there was no comfort blanket of peers or English speakers in the program. I was relentless & followed through with studying in the Dominican Republic & arguably had one of the best times of my life.
Or the time I moved to Dubai when people were shitting bricks warning me not to go.
Or adopt a dog when everyone said it was too much responsibility. (Can you even imagine I listened!?)
Going with your gut is always, always, always my advice. Do what YOU think is best. I can’t say it’s always going to work out the way you planned, it probably won’t. And I can’t say it won’t be hard or there won’t be speed bumps, because that’ll likely happen. The comfort here is, you’ll always know it was your decision & you did what you thought was best at the time.
The one way to fuck it up? Ask too many other people what they think. If you want to get in the fast lane to doubt – starting talking to people. Unless it’s a professional, or someone you COMPLETELY trust, asking anyone else their thoughts is almost always a bad idea.
However, this advice doesn’t mean “wing it”. You should gather information before making any big decisions. Do your research. Look online for unbiased facts so you can be more confident in YOUR decision, but keep it yours. Once you’ve decided & you’re about 90% confident, then share it. If you start sharing a decision when you’re 50/50, you’ll be talked out of it quickly.
Look at the news recently with Megan Markle & Prince Harry walking away from the Royal Family. You know who made that decision? Those two people. You know how many excuses & people would advise differently? All of them. Following your gut, your inner human voice, should not go ignored or be minimalized. Your unbiased decisions are powerful, life-changing & I believe life fulfilling. And ultimately, YOU DO have the power, you have to be brave enough to act on it. Quiet all the voices around you & listen to yourself for a second, see what comes up when you’re ready to make a move.
I wanted to share this advice in case anyone has 2020 goals or ideas that they need direction or a boost of confidence with. I truly believe it’s almost always best to trust YOURSELF. It’s ultimately all about YOU.
I trust you’re looking out for yourself in the best way, because who else will 🙂
[PS REAL QUICK – pray for my minimal turbulence as I’m gonna be on a plane for 15 hours today. Sweet, thanks.]
Love you
be thoughtful
Xx