Life Chats: the amazon, death, and ignorance
I haven’t been as consistent as usual so I thought a little life chats post to catch up & check in would be fun. After all the Amazon is on fire & the bees are dead so this might be my last chance.
And before you attack me saying the Amazon is always on fire, it has a burning season. I understand that, but just because something has been done over and over again doesn’t mean that’s acceptable behavior. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves. “Why do you do it that way? Because we always have.”
Well punch me in the face because that answer fucking hurts.
History is, History
So the Amazon is on fire, maybe it has been on fire every season, but I’m not really okay with it. That or any other crime to mother earth. I remember when the Notre-Dame was burning I heard on the news THE NEXT DAY that $2 BILLION had been donated to repair it & I immediately turned red. Are you telling me there’s an extra $2 Billion laying around? Because if that’s the case I can think of 5,732,000,000 other things that could use some of that money BEFORE the church. I later heard with that $2 billion they could have removed the entire Texas sized island of plastic trash that’s sitting in our beautiful Earth’s ocean.
I might have a little too much of the gene “move on”. History, is history. We can mourn the loss of a church, and let it be just that – a loss. Things happen to treasured pieces of our lives that have incredible meaning, but part of life is letting go. And that’s what I think we needed to do with the church.
Do I suck?
I’m writing to you like I’m writing to my Mom
2 people recently asked me if I’m an influencer so I had to think about this. Sure, if I can influence someone to be happy, or feel comfortable, or safe, or brave then I hope so. I guess that would be my greatest reward. But the other side of that is, my fear – I don’t want to influence you to feel like you need things. So know this,
Whatever I recommend here, I’m suggesting it as if I was talking to my mom. If her & I were sitting down talking, I would share these conversations & recommendations with her. And I would NEVER recommend my mom buy something that I didn’t totally love myself. And I don’t consider myself to be an influencer when I suggest my mom buy a water bottle. You know what I mean? Like do it, or don’t. Literally speaking, she’s the only person I know that consistently reads this, I can never put something on here that’ll waste her money or her space. Or something that’s totally toxic, mentally or physically. If I went home & noticed she bought something I recommended but didn’t actually like, I would die inside. Eeeeeek! Never.
Everything I post is for fun, I like sharing what I find or dream about. You don’t NEED any of it. You already have absolutely everything you need. Everything here is for fun. And fun things that I genuinely love. I can’t promise it has always been that way, but it 100% will be going forward. Recently I’ve been uber conscious of what I say I like or use & I’m going to continue to be, so I wanted you to know that. (Or else I’ll get consumed with guilt when I realize my mom actually bought something I didn’t like.)
Another thing you may have noticed, I’m dramatic. I like to talk loud & wide so take that as a side note to everything as well.
Death is Brutal
I didn’t know if I was going to tell you guys my grandma died. But then I thought it was weird I went missing for awhile, and it also felt weird to ignore a very real part of being human – death. It was the first time I watched someone die, if you’ve done it before, you know. After this passing I thought I should write a book: What No One Tells You About Death. Without going into the gruesome chapters of that book, I’ll share one of the things no one tells you – Watching everyone else you care about lose their loved one. It’s one thing to watch someone pass away that you loved, it’s another thing to also be watching your loved ones lose them too. Seeing my mom mourn is almost as hard, if not harder than watching my grandma leave. It’s an additional sadness you don’t expect.
All my style preferences came from my grandma – floral print, neon pink, bright jewelry. And she didn’t fear the F word or opinions. She was a VIBRANT 93. Another thing no one tells you? Even when they’re old, death still stings. My grandma was sharp as a tack, even at her age, she was still sewing, exercising, cooking & taking care of herself so her death was unexpected, even at 93.
When my other grandma passed away a few years ago, it was shortly after that when I had my first panic attack. Throughout my life, when people passed away I always told myself I would do my best to stay healthy, or avoid dangerous situations, and somehow convinced myself I would escape death. When my grandma died, of basically old age, I had a hard time. You can’t escape that, and my mind finally had to deal with that reality. We’re all going to die. A challenging thought, and it’s been a work in progress to deal with that reality but I have to say it’s getting better. And I’ve learned to use that fear to appreciate the present & prioritize my happiness.
Is ignorance Bliss?
You know what’s been driving me nuts? When horrible things happen & Instagrammer’s go on as if nothing happened. A girl that I follow had her father pass away & she came on Instagram without skipping a beat, talking about cardigans & her chilled latte from Starbucks… maybe take a break? Another example, these last mass shootings barely made a ripple in many regular Instagrammer’s stories, just continued sharing of their favorite cozy sweater of the morning. I find that completely shocking. Take it back to my post: One Things I Wish Would Go Away: Positive People. Instagram has turned a little into the Truman Show with some people, like robots. The roof could be burning on their home, their children screaming bloody murder upstairs, and they’re getting their favorite cardigan in the shot… Feels very Artificial Intelligence. Is that a Robot from Westworld or a human being living in the clouds? I’m highly concerned the Robots are already taking over.
It’s either that or Robot’s that won’t shut up with opinions. Where’s the middle of the road? I mean I think acknowledging the house is burning everyone once & while with one small post is worth breaking up the cardigan sale & confirms you’re a human being. Anyone else?
I’m Back
Because of my sweet grandma’s passing, I haven’t been posting regularly, but I’m back in routine again. You already know, I absolutely love creating these blog posts and working on my Instagram stories. They make me happy & relieve days with anxiety, so I’ll be back on schedule now because it’s the best distraction & way to use my free time. Remember what I told you about alcohol? When you’re not drinking you have TIME. Fucking love it.
Currently listening to the new Taylor Swift album and deciding if I’ll ever love an album more than I loved RED. Anyone else? SO far, pretty impressed with this album to my surprise.
Also, if you guys like these Life Chats posts let me know & I’ll try to pepper them in from time to time. I never know if they’re boring & a total drag.
Have a great week & omg I love you so much.
be thoughtful
Xx
Shop The Post:
love your life chats!
yay! Then you shall receive more! 🙂
missbassmaster recently posted…The Water Bottle You Didn’t Know You Needed