Life Chats: acne, black friday, & pecan pie

Let’s chat about life today, shall we?

Sometimes I don’t know if anyone reads this.  I thought about that with my first post & still think it with every single new post now, but this website remains my happy place.  That’s weird right?  All these years I keep writing down everything, presenting things that I consider fun & continue creating ways to articulate my mind on a webpage as if I’m broadcasting.  I’ve never put in a lot of effort to make money from this platform because I like keeping it safe to use as I please, which is ultimately whatever I want.  Or you want, I suppose. And making money from a blog seems hard.  I’ve thought, what if I just stop?  In a way, I’m writing to myself so I could just stop, but so far it’s what I enjoy & I haven’t stopped yet.  Because creating these posts & writing my thoughts down has been therapeutic to me over the years, I keep choosing to continue.

That’s been on my mind.

Acne

Social media has been fucking with me lately.  I follow a few people that have recently started posting “no filter” photos & it made me red.  They’re people who are trying to “be real” and “authentic” (I only know this because they tell me that).  Those same people have great lighting, in a mansion size house, with filler on their lips & botox in their face – but they’re using no filter?  Being 100% “real life”?  Isn’t the botox & lighting a filter though?  They followed by reposting Direct Messages they received from followers that comment on their “great skin” and how “beautiful they are even with no filter”.   My heart shattered because I found myself comparing my “no filter” to their “no filter” (& then I was like shut-the-fuck-up-this-is-so-dumb.)  We’re all beautiful with or without a filter.  As humans.  ANYTHING on social media, photos, online, websites, media, even in some cases in real life – IS filtered.  Whether it’s an obvious one you select on Instagram like “Retro-Cam 007” or it’s the $2,000 dollars you spent on face maintenance via botox & fillers or the pretty hair day you’re having.  No one has an unfiltered version of anyone else’s life, whether physical or lifestyle.

The truth is, I had HORRIBLE acne this month.  Like, my God.  What in the actual hell is happening on my face?  Is it going to melt off?  Am I reverse aging to 16 years old?  Yeah, it’s been that type of acne.  I’m sure that’s made me extra sensitive or vulnerable to the vortex of social media.  BUT! I love my body & the powerhouse that it is.  I’m trying to work with it & give it the assist it needs. Social media is fake & if I can hide my acne, people can hide theirs too.

{I started calling my dog: Best Friend.  As her name, sort of like a command. “Come here best friend!”}

Black Friday

I can happily say this year was the first year Black Friday sales did literally nothing to intimated me.  I won.  Last year I lost.  I had this awakening the other day that all material things are gross.  HA!  You guys I don’t mean to sound like a downer this entire post but if you’re looking for life chats – here it is… My honest thought is, when you die, when you’re dead on your bed going to sleep in the sweet afterlife of earth’s existence, you realize literally nothing you thought mattered – mattered.  The only thing you probably want in those moments, are pretty flowers & love.  You won’t care if the purse sitting next to your death bed is $10,000 or $10.  You’ll look at it sitting next to you & think – fuck that, plz hold my hand.

On a different note, I’m actually in a great mood.  For me, having somewhat dark thoughts remind me to be grateful for the present moment so much more.  Those thoughts help me navigate all the Black Friday sales & social media pressure.  Those moments help me get off my ass & bring the dog to the park.  And cuddle Wafiq.  And call my mom.  And talk to my brother.  And have love for my people & the present moment.

Pecan Pie

For Thanksgiving this year Wafiq & I relaxed & made the fucking best gluten-free, dairy-free pie.  YOU GUYS, this pie gave me life in a way nothing else has.  I still can’t believe how good it was & although Wafiq offered to make another one, I told him to wait until Christmas because my body is going to grow exponentially if we continue making the Pecan Pie.  AND it won’t taste as good after the 156th day eating it, I’m mature enough to have that realization.  I love my body, even if it grows, but I also want it to be happy with what I’m feeding it… so I’ll start a Pecan Pie Countdown.

We’re going to Minnesota for Christmas this year – I haven’t been during the holidays in possibly 5 years!! That’s ludicrous & skipping home was not an option this year.  We’re driving the car 19 hours so sweet Bernice can come & play in the snow.  I’m so excited to be around my family, in the place I grew up this holiday season.  And I’m so grateful because we’re going to Dubai in January & will get an overwhelming dose of love from Wafiqs huge family for a whole month.  So much love coming up & I’m looking forward to it in a way I’ve never looked forward to it before.

And remember how my 2019 was the year I explored LOVE?  I have a new word for next year – it’s been coming up a lot.  I’m not going to let my love intention go, but I want to build on it so stay tuned.

I think that’s all I have for today!  I hope you’re enjoying the precious holiday season spirit.  I love you, plz be thoughtful always

Xx

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