Up Next: Los Angeles, California

I’m moving.. again! On Sunday. I’ll be vacuum packing all my clothes and pilling them up in the little Honda Civic and start driving across the country to Los Angeles, California. (27 hours?) I’ve already reserved an apartment through Airbnb for one month so that’s where I’ll be for July.

I’ll admit, that’s about as far as my plan has gone so far.

I’m going to try to get a job quickly, simply because I’ll need money. But that’s all I can say as far as what’s next. Why did I decide to move to Los Angeles?  I can’t say I have a very legit answer.

{Why did I decide to move to Austin after high school? Why did I choose the Dominican Republic to study abroad in? Why did I move to across the world to Dubai? My answers are never good enough for the people asking so it’s usually better to stay away from answering that one.}

I’ll also admit it’s been hard to tell people about my move this time around.  I’m so nervous. I’ve learned that trying to convince someone that moving is a good idea means I have to be 100% behind it + confident. Which I’m not. Not because I’m doubting Los Angeles, but because I’m doubting myself.

Moving to Dubai was hands down the hardest experience of my life. It was NOTHING that I expected and it took a good 6 months to finally feel comfortable there.

I doubt myself now because of that experience. I don’t think I have it in me to go through something like that again. Being at home has been the easiest, safest, happiest experience I dreamed of so trying to leave and do anything else is scary.

Part of me is upset. It’s not like me to doubt spontaneous decisions. I used to thrive off them. I get angry and sad that Dubai took that away from me. Now I’m scared. All the time. To do anything.

BUT – I need to stop comparing the next steps in my life to Dubai. Instead, I’m trying to learn from that experience and use those lessons to help me in my future decisions.

Worst case scenario, I don’t like Los Angeles.  I can go home. {I can drive home if I want to}.

But, I hate even saying WORST case scenario. I’m going to try and stick with: Best Case Scenario. And when I think that way I smile from ear to ear and feel cozy inside because of all the possibility I imagine. <3