3 BIG Myths About Going To Therapy

Today is a big day, I’m sharing information about THERAPY!  I’ve been watching too much day time TV & saw a guest on Strahan & Sarah explain how people often talk about their dentist or doctor appointments, but you rarely hear anyone mention their therapist appointments.

Well, I’ll do my part to change that.

If I’m being completely honest with you, as much as I share my tidbits of anxiety – I actually hate writing about it.  Talking about anxiety, triggers anxiety.  I throw my experiences out there & sometimes snap a picture at my therapist’s office because I don’t want to be embarrassed about it.   As much as I’ve been open about anxiety, I also feel a little shame every time I walk into my appointments.  I started posting them on Instagram to show myself it’s not a big deal & I need to stop associating therapy w weakness.

Therapy was the best investment I made for myself.  As of now, I can’t imagine my life without it.

I view my therapist as a tool in my toolbox.  When shit hits the fan {in whatever capacity that means to me}, I immediately know where to go so I can work out my issues & move on – rather than get stuck in them.

My relationship w therapy started a few years ago w my first panic attack.  Remember? HERE.   During a time when my anxiety was debilitating, I remembered one of my friends mentioned she sees a therapist.  I reached out to her in my time of suffering & asked for the therapist’s contact info.   That friend is the only person that told me she saw a therapist, therefore the only one I felt I could reach out to.  Finding a therapist on my own seemed impossible at the time, which is why I still have trouble guiding people on finding one themselves.  The one way I can recommend?  Ask the people you know.

3 BIG Myths About Going To Therapy

MYTH ONE: You Only Need A Few Appointments 

I went to my therapist at least once a week for a few months before I felt like she was the one for me.  There were a few times in the beginning where I doubted our relationship completely.  And it probably took a full year before I understood how to walk into an appointment & get the most benefit from the hour.   If you connect with your therapist in any way, try sticking it out for at least a few sessions.  On the flip side, if you immediately get a bad feeling w your therapist or you don’t have the same viewpoints or moral structure, get out & get started with someone else!

For example, I kept thinking my therapist was too conservative for me.  I assumed she would never say the word fuck.  In my mind, if someone is afraid of a word, there’s no way they can handle what’s going on inside my astronomical brain – It’s saying “fuck it fuck shit fuck that fuck my mind fuck fuck fuck” 100x a day over & over again.  However, everything else we talked about WAS working.  She seemed to have a good handle on listening to me, understanding my feelings, communicating – so I stuck it out for a few months.  Then, a few more appointments in, she introduced the word fuck into our conversation & the rest is history!

Now, if you walk into a therapy session w someone who leads w religion & you’re not religious?  Probably not a good match.  If you walk into a therapy session w someone who leads w veganism & you’re not vegan?  Probably not a good match.  If you walk into a therapy session w someone v conservative & you’re more in line with marijuana?  Probably not a good match.  In those scenarios, it’s absolutely ok to go find another therapist!  There IS one that you will ultimately become obsessed with, like I now am with mine, just make sure you don’t cut the cord too early 🙂

MYTH TWO: Therapy is only for Rich People

When I first started going to the therapist,  I was going 2x a week! And I had no money.  I mean, I thought I had no extra money.  Until my mind broke & I realized how critical it was to fix it.  Now, I prioritize my therapist appointments before pretty much anything else.  Eating out can kiss my ass.  Cable?  So overwhelming.  My nails can look ratchet for awhile.  We can skip that weekend trip.  You name it, I’ll easily give it up in order to schedule in my therapist appointments.  I think it’s absolutely responsible & able for anyone that prioritizes their mental health.  I remember explaining to Wafiq that I would rather be homeless w a therapist, than in a huge mansion without one.

Also!  I’ll try to get more information on this, but I know there are a lot of services out there that are more affordable than the numbers you might have in your head.  Many therapists will lower their prices if you explain the need.  Mine was willing to do that, but she has such a valuable job that I wanted to work hard enough to pay her fully.  I know there are plenty of options out there at a discounted, affordable rate.  You might have to do a little more digging around to find them, but they exist today.

MYTH THREE: Therapy is only for major life problems

True AND False… Is that possible?  Your mental health being in a bad space is a major life problem, right?  Whatever gets your mental health into the bad space is probably what people consider to be major or not, but that doesn’t matter.  Here’s my thoughts on this… During the phases in my life where things are pretty consistent & I’m in control of my mind, I schedule w the therapist once every month or 2 or 3!  Simple maintenance & check-in appointments.  When something comes up, or I’m going through an anxious time, no matter what the reason is, I schedule my appointments more often.  But here’s the thing I suggest… Take time when you’re in a pretty good mental head space to find a therapist & build the relationship.  That way, when something does come up, you know exactly where to go & what to do!  Now that I’ve done the building, I feel incredibly at ease w anything that life throws at me because I have my therapist to help work me through it.  Just knowing that little piece of information alone is incredibly calming.  You have a regular physician that you see for yearly exams, isn’t it nice knowing you have them?  I think everyone should have a therapist too!

Another thing on this.  If you have any question what so ever that you should see a therapist, see one!  I went so many years thinking about seeing a therapist but always knocked it down, until my brain gave me no other option.  Sometimes, you just want to be better.  Be better at your job, be better in your relationship, be better with your children, be better in social settings, be better with your own emotions, be better on a date.  Therapy can be as simple as trying to be better.  And none of us are the best at everything, our entire lives.  You might not be in a full-blown, diagnosed mental breakdown, but perhaps you simply want to be better…  Therapy is a great tool to access!

One of my goals in 2019 is to share more about my experience in therapy & w anxiety.  Like I mentioned, I tend to stay away from going into detail on the subject because it can trigger my own anxiety, but also because I am NOT an expert. Not even close!  So far away from any type of expert situation, I’m a noob.  A rookie!

However, had my one friend not mentioned to me that she sees a therapist I don’t know what I would have done in my days of debilitating anxiety.  That’s why I’m sharing.  I can tell you what’s worked for me & a little of my own experience.  If for nothing else, hopefully, it’ll help make the subject a little less intimidating even for myself.

I asked my therapist if she would answer a few questions regarding therapy & she said she would!  So I have a couple of posts coming up regarding info on finding a therapist & what to say when you go see one.  If you have any questions or post suggestions regarding therapy & anxiety – let me know in the comments section or by email if that’s more comfortable.

And if you’re feeling stuck or suffering, reach out to anyone!  Email me!  I will do my best to point you in the right direction.  We love you so much, I promise!

That’s all I have for today, let me know how you like these posts & I’ll try to keep an open dialogue about all this brain stuff 🙂

Have a great weekend everyone, love uuuu

Be thoughtful

Xx