Anxiety

I wanted to discuss the anxiety I had while in Dubai & then the world changed overnight.  I almost forgot there was life before April 2020.

I was planning to share this book as a travel essential for anyone with anxiety but little did I know there would be a better time and place for this book to become useful – a home quarantine situation.

Wouldn’t this be awkward if I came back without addressing the pandemic of the world.  I didn’t know when to start writing again, but it felt right.

Anxiety?  Let’s talk about it.  There are millions of reasons to HATE anxiety & it’s taken me a million years to get to this conversation, but there are a few reasons you should allow yourself to be friends with those anxious thoughts.  Yes, friends.

This post is for anyone struggling with anxiety & has had someone tell them, they get nervous too.  When I used to toss the word anxious around, I had no idea what true anxiety meant.  I associated anxious, with nerves.  But they’re very different for a lot of people.

THIS IS MAJOR.  Tv, phones, & electronics at bedtime has become normal.  TV’s are in every room of the house (which I have almost always personally required as a way to avoid silence), but that’s no longer acceptable.  Especially when it comes to sleep.

Today is a big day, I’m sharing information about THERAPY!  I’ve been watching too much day time TV & saw a guest on Strahan & Sarah explain how people often talk about their dentist or doctor appointments, but you rarely hear anyone mention their therapist appointments.

With the beautiful holiday season upon us, I thought it would be a good time to encourage a thoughtful challenge.

With the gatherings that naturally happen around the holiday season & the exchange of gifts & meals shared there are plenty of times to be thoughtful of others.  You’re continually being thoughtful of the best gifts to give the people on your lists, the tastiest meals for people you’re serving, & planning get-togethers with your close friends.

BUT, what about YOU!

We all get nervous & feelings of being anxious.  And a lot of us have gotten excellent at pushing through nerves & coming out the other end feeling proud + accomplished.  But then there’s this little devil that’s a step above nerves, anxiety.  I’ve wanted to write about my anxiety for a year now but every time I sit down to do it, I back out.

I had my 1st panic attack almost 2 years ago & have had anxiety issues since then.  I’ve always known nerves, but never panic.  And never severe anxiety.  Anxiety that I felt like I couldn’t control on my own.

There was a lot happening at the time of my first panic attack that likely led to it, but in all honestly my anxiety has been somewhat random since then.  There are certain scenarios I think will trigger anxiety, and other scenarios I feel like I’ll be comfortable in – then, the exact opposite happens. 

I’ve been wanting to share my ideas to shake away anxious or depressing moods for a few weeks, & I think it happened at the perfect time!  My list was recently tested since the big ol allergy attack & now I’m pretty confident in it.  At least one of the ideas below can get your spirits lifted, because there’s nothing uglier than a bad mood or ANXIETY.

DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT.  That’s kind of the ultimate goal.  Distract your mind.  Typically, I’m trying to steer clear of sadness, anxiety, stress, or worry. 

When I graduated college, I listened to gangster rap 24/7 – afraid of the other radio stations.  After receiving a college degree & barely getting an interview at Starbucks, I was having a rough time.  And gangster rap had it’s special way of keeping my mind in a “fuck you” spirit, which was better than sad pop or country songs pushing me closer & closer to a quarter life crisis.  

I suggest, starting with one idea & moving to the next if it doesn’t work.  And when you find one that does work – milk it for awhile.

10 EASY WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD
1. Talk to Yourself:   A loving dialogue.  I learned this from Yoga.  Have you ever tried telling yourself nice things??  WAY more difficult than it sounds. Be nice to yourself, tell yourself kind things:  “I am happy.  I am brave.  I am strong.  I am healthy.  I’m doing the best I can.  I’m powerful. I am ok.”   Try it!

2. Podcasts:  Podcasts basically cured my anxiety.  I can 99% depend on them to relieve anxiety.  I listen to Joe Rogan when I need a distraction or Juicy Scoop when I need background noise & a quick laugh.  All of my Insta Stories at the park? I’m ALWAYS listening to a podcast.  I bring my headphones everywhere & pop them in w a podcast –  waiting rooms, shopping, when I’m getting ready, cleaning, working…

3. Music:   Even if you’re around other people – at work, next to your boyfriend, at the park.  Put your headphones in & find music that makes you feel good.  Try a few different genres, even if you’ve never heard of them.  i.e. Rap, when I need a confidence boost.  Country, when emotional.  Kygo Station when I have anxiety.  Pop, for a distraction.  Explore.

4. Shop:  I mean don’t get addicted here, but if you’re stressed – browse at the store or online.  Buy something that makes you happy or that you’ve been needing.  Even if it’s super small.  You’ll feel accomplished.  (Enter >> Amazon.)

5. Driving:  Take a break. Go for an easy/no traffic drive.  With music.

Ok. Ok. So when I first mentioned my few weeks of life changing events I said it was a combination of things.  One was Jury Duty but the other was a book.  Somehow, the stars aligned in a way that helped me read Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton during my week of Jury Duty.  fyi – There is plenty of opportunity to read while on Jury Duty, it feels like you’re constantly sitting in the small Jury Room waiting for the courtroom to be ready.  I was easily able to finish reading Love Warrior… and wow.

I first heard of Glennon Doyle on Chelsea! about a year ago. Since then, I’ve been wanting to read her book, but procrastinated.  I picked it up, and even read a page or 2 several different times, but always ended up putting it down.  At first glance, the book seemed too emotional & strong (if that makes sense) which scared me away from it.  Emotionally deep books (and movies) gets my anxiety on it’s tip toes so I tend to avoid them.  However, Love Warrior was the only book I packed in my purse for Jury Duty, leaving me no choice but to get through it.

Lucky for me, because this book changed me in a similar way Jury Duty did.

Let me explain.  I recently had a truce with my anxiety, where I looked it in the eye with a smile & shifted my mind to start using it as a tool.  (Also on Chelsea!), a woman being interviewed asked Chelsea to name 3 qualities she likes about herself, and they couldn’t be physical.   I listened, laughed and fell asleep.  In the morning, I was driving to work & thought about that same question.  3 qualities I like about myself, and they can’t be physical.  One of the answers that kept creeping in my mind was – anxiety.  Wtf.  I thought anxiety was something I hated.  But, I started feeling like Batman’s bestie.  Powerful, relieved, and excited.  I told myself, anxiety is a superpower.  A freaking superpower!  Because of anxiety, I’m uber aware of feelings & emotions.  They’re loud, and they’re always there for me to hear. And if I can control them a little, they can be a badass superpower.  And that’s exactly what I’m going to make them.

Thank you to everyone for your feedback on the Jury Duty post!  I can’t describe the relief it was to feel other people understand where I was coming from… The experience made me think I was alone on an island called Understanding – so thank you thank you thank you! And like I said, I’m not done with this, so stay tuned.  My wheels are spinning!  Please continue to let me know if you have similar stories, ideas, thoughts – I love hearing them!

Today, I’m getting off the serious train & into something I consider a little more enjoyable.  I become overwhelmed & disengage quickly when someone is in a constant heavy subject.  Even for me, that gets exhausting.  I need to full circle of conversation.  I also try to enjoy my life & freedoms as much as possible because I know they are not granted to everyone.

Let’s talk Black Friday & Cyber Monday.  Fuck that shit!  (Yeah right, I spent the entire weekend scrolling the internet in efforts to procrastinate all other tasks.  Procrastination does not end in college.)