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Anxiety

Life

Making Friends, Having Friends, Maintaining Friends

“If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.” – Thomas Jefferson


Making friends is like finding a boyfriend.  It’s not easy.  Especially if you’re looking for a good friend & you’re not a smoking hot professional cheerleader.

Making Friends

Like a boyfriend, you can date a lot of people & be pretty happy, but finding that one good one is hard.    Same with friends.  You can have a lot of them, but finding those really good friends that you love like family is hard to find.

I’ve never been the girl with a long list of friends. I wouldn’t be the one with 20 bridesmaids or 1,000 people at my wedding.   There’s a huge part of me that has always been envious of those people.  They were able to cultivate friendships from high school & college that stayed with them their whole lives.  I love that & am honestly impressed & a little envious…

 

I’m the one that could stay at home 99% of my life, only to go get food & walk my precious angel dog, but other than that I’m good to go at home.  I remember the one thing that hurt my feelings the most, from 2 of my ex boyfriends, was when they said I don’t have any friends.  AH!  In context, it wasn’t meant to hurt my feelings, it was immature boys trying to get away with hanging out with their single friends all the time, which I can understand – but hearing them tell me I have no friends was so fucking embarrassing.  Because it was a little true.  Since then, I’ve done better at making friends & am now a little more outgoing, because I have to be… But if you have no friends, don’t worry. I’ve apparently been there, twice.

Making Friends

So, meeting people has always been something I work at.  I’ve been super lucky in the sense that I’ve had a few really  awesome friendships in my life that showed me how important friendships are.  Some helped me grow, some challenged me, some helped me worry less, some helped me be more confident, some taught me a lesson.   Because of how much each friendship helped shape me, I know the value good friendships have.

The whole reason I’m putting this post together is because I started hearing people talk about friendships.  Maintaining friendships that were once strong but are going through change.  Looking for new friends that are easy to be around & share similar values.  Keeping or making friends that have similar interests come Friday night.  And simply the cycle of friendships.  It’s a weird topic to bring up because we’re adults & how do you start talking about friends? Sounds elementary.

When we’re kids we have friends that like to play hop scotch & jump rope together.  That’s pretty easy.  But when we’re older, shit gets a little more complicated than jumping rope.  In a good way, you get to actually talk.  Have interesting conversations.  Build each other’s character.  But everyone is growing into their own lifestyle, opinions, locations, and families.

 Making Friends

Because friends are similar to boyfriends, I think they should be treated the same way.  You have to work hard to find the good ones, and then work to maintain them.  Sitting inside, living within your routine, won’t bring new people into your lives.   That doesn’t happen.  You have to be available, by getting yourself out there.

And once you find a really awesome human being that you get to call a friend, you have to make sure to maintain the friendship.  Give. Appreciate. Listen. Evolve.

Right?

And let a relationship have it’s cycle.  Maybe it’ll go up & down. Someone’s busy, or going through a phase, or growing apart – Let that happen for a little while.  It’ll come around.   (That’s for friends, not boyfriends HA!)

What I figured out was that you can’t get comfy.  You have to work at getting outside your routine & what’s normal.  And like I said in my Money post, this doesn’t mean go out & spend money.  Go for a walk, go to the park, go to the beach, go  on a hike… Get creative!  You don’t have classrooms with new students each semester, so you have to get your ass out there & open up to finding people.

 Making Friends

As much as I would love to say Wafiq, my mom, and my dog are the only friends I need – I realize without good friends we’re still missing a whole other element to living.  So don’t get stuck with you dog, or cats, or partners.  Even though I would die a happy person & be very comfortable that way, I know there’s more!

Making friends sucks, but having friends makes it worth it.  Take on the week ready to mingle like you’re single!  Or maybe you’re both, get your boyfriends & friends all in one week!

Have a fabulous new day & be thoughtful,

Xx


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Funny & Light Podcasts for Ladies

Did You Know?  The same number of Americans listen to podcasts that use Twitter.  The podcast audience is 57 million Americans in total. And while Twitter has more members than that, research shows their active user base is on-par with the overall podcast audience. ( v i a )


The people around me have likely been annoyed with my presence lately because I’m on a huge podcast kick.  I can’t stop trying to bring the light conversation style of the podcast’s into my day to day interactions – definitely confusing people.

The deal is, podcasts don’t have filters.  People sit behind a microphone and talk, about anything, and use whatever language they choose.  I’ve found this avenue of media to be extremely refreshing.

Favorite Podcasts

I had a lot of resistance towards podcasts because I’m barely a fan of TV & talking in general, if I have spare time I’ll read a book of my choosing or listen to music, or shop online – Podcasts sounded like another avenue of annoying voices.

I first forced myself into listening to a podcast when I was in the middle of a long, boring day at work and my anxiety started kicking.  I was looking for something to distract my mind & I opened the podcast app on my phone.  I landed on a random, gossipy, sans substance podcast… exactly what I needed.  Stress free people talking about Brad Pit, the real housewives and sex noises. SOLD.

Since then I’ve been glued to Podcasts.

I’m very picky.  I don’t like anything too serious.  I want something to take me out of my own head.  Anyone else have that feeling?  Overthinking the world problems & constantly diagnosing myself with terminal illnesses is an easy task, it’s removing myself from them that’s tricky.  I would love listening to funny, light conversations that mean nothing more than a good laugh.


Funny & Light Podcast’s: 

Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

This is strictly for women, and probably older women, whom have homes & families. I don’t know why/how I listen to it because it’s very out of my element but for some reason I’m hooked.  GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP. Think – Real Housewives, The Bachelor, E News!, Scientology, and whatever other hot topics are in the media.  The host, Heather, used to be on Chelsea Lately and I always found her to be pretty funny so I landed here.   She’s desperate & I love it.  Spread the word!

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

YES!  This podcast is like a dream I never imagined possible.  Anna has celebrity guests on her show that she interviews & then takes calls with listener’s life questions.  She has A LOT of fun with the celebrities & doesn’t take anything too seriously.   Tons of improve & acting that I’m obsessed with!  I’ve recently started asking anyone/everyone if they want to improve with me.  I’m desperate.  So desperate, I bought this improve game and force Wafiq to play it with me on Friday nights. Current obsession. I can’t say enough with this Podcast.  Wonderful for both men & women.

Serial

By now, I think everyone has listened to this murder mystery podcast, but if you haven’t I wanted to throw it in here.  Great for long car rides.

The Chick Show

This one again, doesn’t exactly fit my demographic but I’m addicted.  These women are older than me but there’s something about listening to women older than me gossip that’s humbling.  Ha! These two ladies are hustling hard & I’m loving it.


I’m a die hard for fun, easy to listen to, not very serious podcasts.  Very drained from the hustling – do this, do that, know this, know that style media.

Podcasts are brand spanking new to me and I’m almost caught up on Anna Faris is Unqualified so send me your favorites!! Needing new material ASAP.

I’m off to rub oil on my eye lids, thank you allergies. Then prep for the weekend of SXSW adventures, let’s see if this year I can actually figure out what the F SXSW is…. Hmmmmm

Have a great weekend & be thoughtful

Xx

Shop St. Patrick’s Day Green:

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Why Non Yoga People Need to Be Doing Yoga

Did You Know?  “The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart. “Nama” means bow, “as” means I, and “te” means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means “bow me you” or “I bow to you.” ” ( v i a )


This is not another Yogi post!  I prefer aggressive workouts – fighting, running, sweating, moving, hitting, pushing, jumping.  (Aggression issues?)  I grew up playing soccer & competition runs through me.  I like competing with myself, or Wafiq, whenever possible.  Recently, I decided in order to balance the muscle tightening workouts, I needed to find a way to gain flexibility.

Yoga for Anxiety

Flexible bitches are sexy.  They bend.  Any direction, any time.

And I’ve always been jealous.  Since joining a workout camp my muscles feel tighter than normal & I slowly started seeing any hint of hot girl flexibility leaving my body.   In order to quickly implement a solution I knew I needed to start Yoga.  The problem is, I wasn’t willing to compromise my daily workout camp with Yoga, so when would I find the time?!

Even though I’m NOT a morning person I thought rolling myself out of bed 30 minutes earlier to do Yoga would be manageable. At least for a month or until I came up with a Plan B.

It’s been more than a month since I made this decision, and I have shocking news to share.

I’ve been waking up every single morning & doing a Yoga Camp I found on YouTube.  This alone says A LOT.  I can’t tell you how much I despise getting up early.  I’ve never dreamed or aspired to be a morning person.  I don’t like the morning.  All the perfect people are awake at that time and I don’t fit in.

Since doing Yoga, while it’s still dark in the morning, I haven’t had any trouble waking up – I actually look forward to it. (?!?)

Yoga for anxiety

Essential Oil Diffuser: Here

However, the greatest benefit I’ve noticed from doing Yoga has not been the hot girl flexibility I was looking for, it’s been something much harder to tackle – ANXIETY.  In the last 6 months or so I’ve seen the evil side of anxiety & received a major wake up call to pay attention to it.  Although I heard Yoga helps anxiety I didn’t realize how much it would help.     Swear to baby Jesus, had I known my whole life how much Yoga would help mental health, I would’ve started as a child.

Flexibility would be an awesome perk, but it’s no longer my greatest benefit.  The mindset I’m able to take away from Yoga each morning effects my entire day.  Life changing. Yes, life changing.

 Yoga for anxiety

I know Yoga people say this all the time – but take it from a very NON Yoga person.  You have to try this in the morning!  It could change everything!

I wake up, go to my living room, turn on my little string lights so the room is still pretty dark, and practice my Yoga video of the day.  Me & my princess doggie together in the quiet with the video playing off my phone. So easy.

 

Here’s where you need to start:  Yoga Camp

ANYONE can do it.  No knowledge, flexibility, age or excuse required.

I recommend starting each morning like this, and really stick to it for the entire 30 days.   Have the same mentality I did.  There’s no pressure, it’s quick & easy, so why not see what happens?  Maybe you’ll gain the flexibility you’re missing, get in shape, tone your arms, or have a positive start to your day.  If you’re dealing with anxiety in any way, shape, or form – get on it!  Tomorrow morning.

Normally Yoga is fucking $$$$.  This is FREE.  FREE.  FREE.  We love FREE medicine/workouts.

I’ll follow up in a few months & let you know if I have hot girl flexibility from morning Yoga – I can’t deny that that’s important too 🙂

Yoga thoughts?!

Have a great day, stay positive, and be thoughtful.

Xx

Shop My Favorite Yoga Pants:

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Personal Updates, Thoughts

I’m the Worry Wart.

I’m a crazy person. For real. C R A Z Y .

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I have MAJOR, MAXIMUM, GINORMOUS, problems with worrying. I worry all the freaking time. You name it, I’ll worry about it. (So don’t name it, I can’t handle the pressure!)

My latest struggle is worrying about the stability of my new job. I think because I’ve been in Real Estate the past 2 years and working on commission I never worried about my job disappearing.

Which sounds strange, because I think people assume commission jobs are a gamble + unstable. Which is true. But a lot of the risk is in your control.

As a real estate agent, if you need a big month, (or a big couple months) you put your head down and bust your ass –> your work will be rewarded. More effort = More money. Less effort = Less money.

Also, I feel like working as an agent you’re never SUPER dependent on the company you’re employed to. If they closed or decided to lay you off or fire you, you can take your clients and hop over to the next. Lots of people do it without even a hiccup in their income stream.

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But here I am, my first week at a salary paying job.. And I’m freaked the f*** out.

Like B A D.

How do people do this?

Let me just add, the company I’m working for isn’t small. It’s not HUGE, but it’s not small. Not a start-up. Not a company that’s struggling to pay the bills by any means. But I have this overwhelming fear that in a week or 2 they’ll say: “Pack up your box, we decided we didn’t need an extra hand after all” Peace.

I feel like my life is in their hands.

My solution: Go to therapy. Once I get settled down for a second. For this situation and my laundry list of other worries that don’t make sense.

I’m a full believer in therapy. I’ll vomit if someone tells me they have nothing to say to a therapist because their life is freaking cupcakes and roses. But that’s a WHOLE other post waiting to happen.

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In the meantime, I’m dealing with this annoyance by staying busy {mothers advice} and reading about essential oils that sooth the nerves.

Read. Work. Run. Work. Cook. Organize. Read. Run. Cook. Eat. Breathe Lavender. <— Repeat.

 

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