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study abroad

Life, Travel

How A Poem Cleared Up My Weird Travel Emotions

Did You Know?  1/3 of the world’s airports are located in the U.S. ( v i a )


I was looking through poetry the other day for National Poetry Day & the next thing I know 4 hours passed, I ordered 6 poetry books off Amazon, & I confessed to Wafiq that I’m going to become a song writer.

This too shall pass.

When You Don't Want To Travel

One poem really stood out.  Take a quick read:

Let me tell the tale
Of a girl who didn’t stop
Who climbed up every mountain
Without a pause upon the top
She’d dance until each blade of grass
Was clothed in drops of dew
And the sun knew her by name
But the silver moon did too
For a fear had setled in her bones
A fear of sitting still
That if you’re not moving forward
It must mean you never will
So in time her dance got slower
And she looked at all she’d seen
But found gaps inside the places
That she’d never fully been
For she was a human doing
Human moving, human seeing
But she’d never taken time
To simply be a human being
– e.h

When You Don't Want To Travel

When I came back from Dubai I couldn’t figure out why I hated the idea of traveling so much.  The biggest drag was talking travel.  I couldn’t get inspired or motivated to think about vacations, explorations, studying abroad, beaches, getaways, culture, language, hotels.  BLAH.

And this feeling stuck with me until about 3 months ago.  I spent at least a year in that feeling of travel = BLAH.   I wasn’t even the slight bit interested when I met someone with an international accent, or recently back from another country.  It was weird (…and now I’m realizing a little racist?)  I used to DIE to ask people thousands of questions about their recent vacations or country/state of origin, but I found myself completely uninterested.  (I wrote this post: here during that time, and I can tell, HA!)

I was pretty confused as to why.  After all, I’m the girl that moved across the country after high school, studied abroad by myself in a country that I didn’t know the language (at all), moved across the world with a suitcase & no clue what the hell I was going to do!  Travel gave me life & truly fulfilled my spirit…  I used to spend my life googling where to go & what to do. Who I could meet & where.  How I would get there & how I would convince my family I wasn’t crazy.

Why the fuck couldn’t I be amused by it now??!!  I felt really bad.  Not even a beach vacation?!  Boooooring.

Give-Yourself-A-Break(3)

When I read this poem it made sense to me.  I was always moving, moving, moving, & going, going, going… I swear even if other people didn’t see it, all they had to do was be in my mind.  FULL of plans & what’s next, constantly.  So afraid of stillness because it meant being stuck.

Without much intention, the past year I’ve gone to bed amazed with what I have & my routine.  I got way better at taking time to be present & patient, which I’ve never done before.  I literally look at the wall of the rooms where I live & am like “hot damn Katie, you’re fucking living. YES! YES!”. HA!

Although all of those moving, moving, moving choices gave me the best experiences of my life, this is a new kind of best experience – Like they have all been.  To be still for a quick minute & feel the stillness is a brand spanking new best experience.  Making sense?

When You Don't Want To Travel

Now, do I have plans to pick up my shit & move to Iceland tomorrow?  Maybe…  I’m getting back to feeling excited about travel & adventures, but it took some time.  This poem helped me feel excited about that time, like I’m not going to miss out on being a “human being”.  I want to be a human being too!  Not just a Human Moving OR a Human Doing!  A Human Being!

Anyways, because this particular poem helped me understand myself a little better I really wanted to share it.  I wish I read it when I was in the thick of “TRAVEL = BLAH” because it would’ve helped me feel comfortable with the feeling.

Thoughts?

As always, be thoughtful…

Xx

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Life

Oui Please, No More Culture Shock

There are pro’s and con’s to being busy.  I’ve noticed the busier I am the quicker time goes by & I can’t stand when time goes too fast.  When I’m not busy, aka Netflix and chilling, time goes pretty slow.  How did I finish an entire series in one day?!  But that’s the laziest form of survival, so it’s a toss!

 minnesota-blog

If you’ve been watching my Snapchat or following my Instagram you’ll have noticed I was in Minnesota last week.  I had to get my hair cut & my favorite stylist is in Minnesota so I made the trip.

(Not really.  My cousin got married so I went up for the wedding… and conveniently got my hair done.)

I’ll recap the trip next week w/suggestions for your Minneapolis itinerary.

Being in Minnesota this time around was actually a relief.  Last time I was home I had major culture shock.  I had a hard time communicating my feelings & expressing what I was going through.  I reacted to people’s comments defensively & craved some sort of debriefing conversation.  Looking back, I probably shouldn’t have spoken to other human beings.

This time, being around family, felt normal again! I could talk in complete sentences.  Think realistically. Respond responsibly.

I felt like I got to redeem myself.

It’s not that Dubai was super tragic, or anything extraordinary that caused my culture shock issues, it was the change.  There were different circumstances abroad that created a huge amount of change & development in such a short amount of time.  Constantly living on level 10.  When I came back, it was another huge wave of change on a Level 3.   The adjustment took time.

I have a new appreciation & understanding for people coming to America from abroad.   Or anyone going through dramatic life changes.

Now that I’ve recovered, I get excited remembering ALL the changes & happenings.  OUI! And where I am now, how much I’ve learned, the people I’ve met, the weird feelings I had throughout.  Even the emotional differences between moving away when I was 18, a semester in the Dominican Republic, and living in Dubai. Each so different & challenging in their own ways.   But pretty happy to have them behind me, as to now only have to reflect 😉

 

Anyways, I wanted to fill you in a little!  How’s everyone else doing? Excited for fall?

 

Have an extra excited day, don’t worry, and be thoughtful!

 

Xx

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