Personal Updates, Thoughts

I’m the Worry Wart.

I’m a crazy person. For real. C R A Z Y .

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I have MAJOR, MAXIMUM, GINORMOUS, problems with worrying. I worry all the freaking time. You name it, I’ll worry about it. (So don’t name it, I can’t handle the pressure!)

My latest struggle is worrying about the stability of my new job. I think because I’ve been in Real Estate the past 2 years and working on commission I never worried about my job disappearing.

Which sounds strange, because I think people assume commission jobs are a gamble + unstable. Which is true. But a lot of the risk is in your control.

As a real estate agent, if you need a big month, (or a big couple months) you put your head down and bust your ass –> your work will be rewarded. More effort = More money. Less effort = Less money.

Also, I feel like working as an agent you’re never SUPER dependent on the company you’re employed to. If they closed or decided to lay you off or fire you, you can take your clients and hop over to the next. Lots of people do it without even a hiccup in their income stream.

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But here I am, my first week at a salary paying job.. And I’m freaked the f*** out.

Like B A D.

How do people do this?

Let me just add, the company I’m working for isn’t small. It’s not HUGE, but it’s not small. Not a start-up. Not a company that’s struggling to pay the bills by any means. But I have this overwhelming fear that in a week or 2 they’ll say: “Pack up your box, we decided we didn’t need an extra hand after all” Peace.

I feel like my life is in their hands.

My solution: Go to therapy. Once I get settled down for a second. For this situation and my laundry list of other worries that don’t make sense.

I’m a full believer in therapy. I’ll vomit if someone tells me they have nothing to say to a therapist because their life is freaking cupcakes and roses. But that’s a WHOLE other post waiting to happen.

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In the meantime, I’m dealing with this annoyance by staying busy {mothers advice} and reading about essential oils that sooth the nerves.

Read. Work. Run. Work. Cook. Organize. Read. Run. Cook. Eat. Breathe Lavender. <— Repeat.

 

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