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The Trouble With Money…

Did You Know? Some people believe “if I make more money, I can be competitive and win the race,” When money is the top priority for a person, and they lose it – because of a layoff, for instance – their self-worth shrinks. (“They mix up net worth with self-worth.”) They suffer significantly because money is the only thing that matters, instead of another person who places greater value in family and is passionate about other things.

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Lets talk MONEY, shall we?  Delicious, rich, spectacular money.

The Trouble With Money

Money is the driver of pretty much everything.  You need it to survive, to pay the bills, to have a roof over your head.  You also need it to fund activities in order to keep you sane from your full time job that’s paying those bills.

I’ve always dreamt of people with indispensable money – what it looks & feels like to go anywhere & do anything without a worry in the world.  Eat wherever you want, drive whatever you want, pay for your family/friends vacations, payback the people you once had to borrow from, go to any doctor you want, get a nice face mask.

However, this post isn’t about wanting money, it’s about appreciating what we have.

Abroad, all I wanted was fucking money. I was SOOO broke.  I wasn’t able to work right away because the Visa permit for my job was taking longer than I expected & when you breathe in Dubai you spend $500/breath, so there’s that.  Any money I could get my hands on disappeared before I had a chance to look at it.  And, I didn’t even know how to borrow money from anyone at home.  Thank God I didn’t know how to open a credit card!  So, I had to ask favors from people in Dubai that I barely knew at that point.   I felt like I lost all my power & confidence. (Enter: Shingles)  Not exaggerating, I counted every. single. cent. (or dirham in that case).   Until finally, I started working & feeling like myself again.

But, when Wafiq & I moved back to the U.S. from Dubai, with only our savings accounts, we were back to feeling like we had nothing.  Of course we had our savings but with no income those numbers start shrinking fast, not to mention the unexpected cost of immigration lawyers & the fees associated with their services.  Back to NO FREAKING MONEY!   (Very familiar feeling.)  At times, it was sickening & scary. But the curve ball here is, all the moments we shared together where we felt alive!  The hustle of life right under our feet & only possibility ahead.  Not yet in a full time corporate job that was holding us back, only imagination & a blank slate ahead.   It was a mix of feeling like we’re the biggest fucking losers on Earth that can barely eat,  to free spirits with the entire world & all of its opportunities spread out in front of us.    In a cage, but free.

Well, we’re not that broke anymore.

But, because I know the feeling & I don’t doubt that it could happen again… I wanted to write about being broke.  It fucking sucks baaaaad.   But so does having money.  Money sucks.  I’ve been friends with people that have had a lot of money their entire lives, and always will.  With money comes greed & stubbornness.  Your surroundings appear cloudy.  What’s real & what isn’t.  Who needs a favor & who wants one.

I’ve also been friends with people that once received a lot of money after living without it for most of their lives.  Even this scenario can turn ugly.  Money changes people.  Takes away the depth of conversations, turns the topics into competition.  Proving themselves & their worth.

Looking back, not having money was a grind that I’m happy I did my best to appreciate.  I had beautifully authentic conversations & met some of the most genuine people in those times.  I had nothing more to offer than my friendship & a night in playing cards w/$3 bottles of wine, drinking it out of a plastic coffee cup.  (PS.  I was out of college, this was no longer acceptable.)  I connected with people that valued life & friendship more than the depth of each other’s pockets.

When Wafiq & I had no money we wouldn’t go out very often because we simply couldn’t afford it.  But it was so easy to say that: “we can’t afford going out because we don’t currently have a job… or money.” HA!  Now? We have to say yes to a steak dinner and taste our wine with a seal of approval before we purchase the glass.   Once upon a time, we used to get very creative with dates. The park or beach with a picnic meal & cheap wine.  Cheese plates with a movie in the background & cards on the table. Driving around brainstorming ideas of companies to apply for or career paths to get involved in.

My point is, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And I think the solution is to be grateful for what you currently have & to be thoughtful of the people around you.  Whether you have money now or you don’t, be thoughtful & appreciate where you’re at.   Listen, create good conversations about weird things.  Also, get out of your own demographic a little.  For me, that helped understand money a lot better.  When you become friends with people that truly have NO money and people that truly have an abundance of money, you’ll learn a lot.

 The-Trouble-With-Money

I love the idea of simply being thoughtful.  It takes slowing down & being vulnerable, but that’s better than leading with insecurities.  Go out today & be thoughtful while you take on the world & work work work work work!  You got this, whatever amount is in your pocket is enough for today!

Xx


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Life, Thoughts

College. Don’t Do It!

Did You Know?  Student loan debt is the second highest form of debt in the U.S., second only to mortgages. Around 75% of student loan borrowers have delayed buying a home because of their debt & over 40% of borrowers have delayed starting a family because of their debt.

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COLLEGE – DON’T DO IT!

Let me explain.

Going-To-College

As I was growing up, teachers, parents, grandparents, cousins, graduates, & friends all stressed the importance of having good grades to get into a good college after high school.  That was the only option for anyone who wanted to be successful.   That’s why we worked so hard in high school, so we can go to college.  Because who doesn’t know what they want to do with their entire life at 18 years old?  And if you didn’t know, you can take classes until you find out.  “If you don’t go now, you’ll never go back!”

I’m not sure how this path was drilled in everyone’s mind because it doesn’t make sense to me.  I think for the generation before mine, college carried more significance than it does now.  It actually meant something to have a general, liberal arts, communication degree.  At least you had a degree on your resume.   And because it meant so much then, it only makes sense that you wouldn’t want to miss out on it now.

But times have changed.

Going To College

After graduating college & applying for real life jobs, all the openings required several years of experience.  A degree didn’t matter, they wanted someone who has been in the field for years.   Searching through job applications today is the same story: experience, experience, experience.  When I met with a job recruiter, about a year ago, she sat down to look at my resume & saw my degree listed on the weeee bottom line & asked if I actually received it, when I said yes, she replied “Ok, I’m just asking because if you didn’t we can just take it off… It’s not a big deal.”

Big deal?! My family & I just paid 1 million fucking dollars for this degree at the weee bottom of my resume & you’re saying it’s not a big deal if I leave it off?!

I wasn’t surprised.  I already knew the degree wasn’t what employers were looking for, but hearing her confirm my thoughts stabbed me in the gut.  Not only was I hoping the million dollar degree would help me land a job, but I was assuming I would also find a job that would make the money spent on school worth it.

Going To College

College WAS the best decision of my life. It paved the way for my future.  Not because of the education, but the choice to leave home & grow up.  I went from shy to strong.  From self-conscious to confident.  From scared to brave.  From 1 friend to 3.   I consider it the best & most important decision I made so far in my life.

But the truth is, I thought that was the only option for me to go out on my own.  I thought it was college or stay home.  So I had to make the move to college, because it was the only option & I’m glad I did.

That’s also why I wanted to share this post, because there are other options.    All the money you’re going to spend on college could be invested in yourself.  Your own business or ideas.  Travel.  Experience. Life. Work.

Going To College

I went into college, failed fucking math & took the Communication degree.  Here’s the deal, I didn’t know shit about finances or business so math was impossible.  These days, I’m reading books about money, entrepreneurs, taxes, business – all things I wish I would’ve studied in college because now I actually relate to them.  I can understand them beyond just taking a class & simply digesting information.

I don’t think college is smart.  I talk a lot of shit about college.  But, if you know you want a career as a doctor, or scientist or engineer then you need college to fulfill your career.  You can’t follow that path without the education.  BUT, if you question your choice whatsoever or don’t know what you want to do, why go spend a ton of money on a path you’re uncertain of?  Take time off to work, travel & learn about yourself.  Move to a different state.  Take an easy going job that you enjoy.  Party.  Date. Order a ton of books off Amazon & start educating yourself for .99 cents.  (because Amazon is the shit like that).

Then, when you’re older, and happily have a savings account without millions in student loan debt, and you know what you want to do & how to get there – go back to school.  If that’s the path.  School’s not going anywhere & maybe someday it’ll actually be affordable.

Going To College

I should also mention, in other countries the college degree holds a very high significance.  They don’t care what degree it is as long as you have one.  I noticed that in Dubai, so as soon as I was regretting that expensive piece of paper I did have a moment of gratitude, otherwise I don’t know if I would’ve been able to work while abroad.  Do I consider the degree worth it for my stint in Dubai? Not really.  But it doesn’t make me feel as bad about the whole situation either.

There are SO many ways to be successful without college today.  Education is at our fingertips in more affordable & accessible ways than ever before.   If I’m the only person that’s saying this, then I’m glad to do so.  You DO NOT have to go to college after high school.  You are likely smarter than the people who do.

 

Have I fallen off my rocker or are you with me? Thoughts?

 

Welcome to April! Go out, skip school & be thoughtful!

Xx

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Life, Personal Updates, Thoughts

Catching Up – Why I Don’t Want Wafiq To Get A Job

Hi Hi Hi!

 

I feel like it’s been awhile since I did a little life update and chatted about everything going on…

 Malibu Beach

Hopefully! Wafiq will be able to start working soon (…after patiently waiting a year to figure out the visa situation.)

I was on the way to work the other day and started wondering – why don’t I want him to start working?

I would welcome the extra income with open arms & would be happy he could finally push forward in his career – BUT, for some freakish reason, I couldn’t figure out whyyyy, in the back of my mind – I did not want him to get a job.

I was almost hoping his work permit would s l o w down, or maybe never come…?!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (I know, I’m terrible).

I realized, it’s because he’s not stuck in the conventional work schedule yet –>  He still has that freedom we were living with for so long & by seeing it in him, I feel happier and oddly safe?  Like – I can’t get stuck, as long as he isn’t.

What worries me about him starting a job is drowning in routine, which has always been my biggest fear.   I’m already in it,  and coming home to someone who isn’t – has been giving me l i f e .

Both of us having a full time (conventional) job freaks me out.

Constantly proving yourself to climb the ladder, follow orders, punch in / punch out. Ewwwwww.

I’m fully aware I don’t make sense to everyone.  Because everyone is not the same. For some people – working in a conventional position, with routine, fulfills their purpose.  They’re able to participate in activities that allows them to shine.

For some people, it doesn’t.  We all have different ways to fill our tank, and that’s what makes each individual so cool & special. I’m obsessed with these differences, it’s what makes each person so interesting.

My feelings: Don’t work Wafiqqqqq! Saveeeee yourrrrsellllllfffffff!

But that’s out of control. I get it.

Malibu Beach

I’ll say, from experience, there’s something about being broke that brings out the feels.  (My never-get-a-job-speech.)

When you don’t have any money, life is creative.   You don’t go buy whatever you want & do whatever you want – You figure out other ways.  Keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t exist –  fuck having a posh vacation, a new car, organic toothpaste, or a fancy purse – you’re busy figuring tomorrow out!  (<— As you can see, I’ve been dying to write a post on money… I’ll get into that rant another day.)

Not that money isn’t also incredibly wonderful, but there’s something about being pretty broke that sparkles at night.

Malibu Beach

Howeverrrr, Wafiq will start working soon whether I like it or not… BUT we’re both running our engines with optional career paths to find another, possibly unconventional, way.

[Lucky for me – our crazy minds think alike]

Other news to receiving his work permit: a driver’s license + travel permit + temp social security # + normal, every day opportunities – so we’ll be more ecstatic than you can imagine.

Our life has hit somewhat of a Pause button figuring out those technicalities, but hopefully it’s coming to the end! (Not our life, just the Pause button.)

 Malibu Beach

Being June already! We’re reserving this weekend to check in on our goals & reevaluate where we’re headed.

 

Anyone else taking some time to check in?  It’s crayyy zeeee how fast time flies isn’t it?! I feel like it was JUST January… shiiiiiiiiiiii

What’s everyone else up to? What do you have going on?!?  Anything spicy?  A new dog?  A new baby?  A new boyfriend?! A favorite compliment?! (love those)

 

Have a great summertime weekend everyone, hope your days are as happy as you dream them to be 🙂

Xx

 

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Personal Updates, Thoughts

I’m the Worry Wart.

I’m a crazy person. For real. C R A Z Y .

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I have MAJOR, MAXIMUM, GINORMOUS, problems with worrying. I worry all the freaking time. You name it, I’ll worry about it. (So don’t name it, I can’t handle the pressure!)

My latest struggle is worrying about the stability of my new job. I think because I’ve been in Real Estate the past 2 years and working on commission I never worried about my job disappearing.

Which sounds strange, because I think people assume commission jobs are a gamble + unstable. Which is true. But a lot of the risk is in your control.

As a real estate agent, if you need a big month, (or a big couple months) you put your head down and bust your ass –> your work will be rewarded. More effort = More money. Less effort = Less money.

Also, I feel like working as an agent you’re never SUPER dependent on the company you’re employed to. If they closed or decided to lay you off or fire you, you can take your clients and hop over to the next. Lots of people do it without even a hiccup in their income stream.

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But here I am, my first week at a salary paying job.. And I’m freaked the f*** out.

Like B A D.

How do people do this?

Let me just add, the company I’m working for isn’t small. It’s not HUGE, but it’s not small. Not a start-up. Not a company that’s struggling to pay the bills by any means. But I have this overwhelming fear that in a week or 2 they’ll say: “Pack up your box, we decided we didn’t need an extra hand after all” Peace.

I feel like my life is in their hands.

My solution: Go to therapy. Once I get settled down for a second. For this situation and my laundry list of other worries that don’t make sense.

I’m a full believer in therapy. I’ll vomit if someone tells me they have nothing to say to a therapist because their life is freaking cupcakes and roses. But that’s a WHOLE other post waiting to happen.

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In the meantime, I’m dealing with this annoyance by staying busy {mothers advice} and reading about essential oils that sooth the nerves.

Read. Work. Run. Work. Cook. Organize. Read. Run. Cook. Eat. Breathe Lavender. <— Repeat.

 

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