Valentine’s Day When You’re in a Relationship

Valentines Day-0001

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

This is my favorite holiday because it’s all about LOVE & being kind.  Take the extra step to be thoughtful to everyone around you, ultimately that’s what Valentines Day should be about.

I tend to support single people during Valentines Day, because I think they bitch the most?  Like, I’ll stay in with my bottle of wine & The Notebook & cry myself to sleep style.  BUT this time I’m coming after people in a relationship.  Because, when you’re in a relationship for a long time, little gestures can get lost & Valentines Day can end up feeling dumb?  Single people – you’re GOOD on Valentines Day. The possibilities are endless, I used to love this holiday when I was single, read this post: HERE.

You know the CRAZY part about being in a relationship?  The amount of time you’re choosing to give someone besides yourself.  When you spend every day with someone, sleeping next to them, waking up next to them, making decisions with them, creating a family with them, living with them – in a way, you’re choosing to dedicate your life to them.  Think about it.  Because if you recall, we only have ONE life.  How intense is that?

I started thinking about this because I often hear people bitch about their significant other.  Often times joking, sometimes serious.  This typically happens after a few years together, right?  The fucking dishes, the annoying friend, the job.  At my age, it’s typically deciding about taking the step to marriage, or once in a marriage it’s about the pile of other conflicting situations that come up. But at the end of the day, we have one life.  When we’re in a long relationship,  we’re choosing to lay down next to the same person every day, for years & years.  We’re giving our lives to each other.  I can’t think of anything more significant than that, in our entire lives.  Or anyone more important to get along with.   Your kids will come, but they’ll also go create a family.  Your own family will do the same.  Your friends will come & go… But damn, that one “person” you lay down next to every night will be laying down next to you forever.  They’ll be there when people come, and they’ll be there next to you when everyone goes.

What a commitment. And what a journey.

That makes me realize bitching & moaning about little things is pointless.  Worrying about small annoyances shouldn’t matter.  Let it go, let it go.  We should be gentle with our partners, we’re giving them a humongous part of our one life. You know what I mean?

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What is ONE Thing You Learned in 2017?

New Year

I was in a meeting earlier this month & everyone was asked: What is one thing you learned this year?  They asked a lot of hard questions like that…  What’s a trait in yourself that you would not want to give someone else? 

But, one thing I learned this year… Oddly enough, I feel like I’ve had a pretty comfortable year.  The years before 2017 were chaotic & I’d probably respond to this question with answers like: patience, confidence, staying positive, ect.  Moving to Dubai, adjusting there, working there, then moving back, my relationship with Wafiq, his immigration process, being broke, moving everywhere again, needing a job – every year contained variables.  And in the moment, I often felt frustrated – like I was wasting time.  I couldn’t wait to be “normal”.  Get my life on track like everyone else.

Then, this year I finally had it!  Normal & comfortable.  At the very least, it was appearing to be on track.

But, throughout the year, and I think I’ve said this before on my blog, I found myself missing the variables & chaos.  Even being broke!

For example, when you have no money, other parts of your life strengthen.  Your creativity, your imagination, your hustle, your ideas, your friendships.

For example, when you have big life decisions ahead of you,  the opportunity to impress yourself by being brave & making choices presents itself.

For example, when you’re not “on track”, you don’t have pressure or expectations.  People are either disappointed & judgemental OR they’re believing in your journey & supportive.  Relationships are defined.

There’s so much learning happening in the stages that you can’t wait to get through!

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Being Thoughtful + 5 Times To Stop & Think

Thoughtful

As you may have noticed, I write “be thoughtful” at the end of all my posts.  When I started writing regularly I wanted to think of something to end with.  Something short, that I genuinely wanted readers to leave w/every day.   I thought about “be nice” or “be kind”  because there’s nothing better than a nice person, but that’s not always the case.  Sometimes, you shouldn’t be nice.  You should be strong.  You should be loud & badass & stick up for yourself, which might not be nice.   I might actually suggest “be mean”.

I came up with “be thoughtful”.  If you slow down & you’re thoughtful of the people you’re interacting with, you’ll know whether to be nice or to be mean.   No one knows what’s going on w/the people they interact with every day and no one knows you.

I think this really amplified itself for me a year ago when I was dealing w/bad anxiety.  I feel like I looked normal but was going through such a tough time in my head.  I was trying to take things slow & gentle while I worked through my anxiety, and I felt fragile.  But people didn’t know that.

One issue I had was driving anxiety.  American’s driving is the single thing I HATE the most about America.  It’s also one of the only times I use the word hate.  Moms, dads, young people, old people, men, women, they all drive like a tasmanian devil.  It’s crazy to me!  We have these huge machines we’re plowing recklessly through traffic with and have no worry?  And where are we always rushing to?  Why are we rushing?  We’re a product of our environment, American’s are glued to time.  My advice is to say fuck it & leave work early, take your time to your kids soccer game, so you can show up alive.

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3 Easy Ways To Get Motivated For Your Workouts

Hike Trail

Did You Know?  “Fitness tracker sales are expected to hit $4 billion in 2017” ( v i a ) Ey Ey ey!  Working out & staying in shape is what the cool kids are doing.  And we all secretly want to be a cool kid. There are perks to the healthy body madness. I went […]

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The Trouble With Money…

The Trouble With Money

Did You Know? Some people believe “if I make more money, I can be competitive and win the race,” When money is the top priority for a person, and they lose it – because of a layoff, for instance – their self-worth shrinks. (“They mix up net worth with self-worth.”) They suffer significantly because money […]

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Understanding An Asshole & How To Deal w/Them

Did You Know? In 1962, there was an outbreak of contagious laughter in Tanganyika, Tanzania. It began as an isolated fit of laughter among a group of schoolgirls, but rose to epidemic proportions spreading into neighboring communities. The outbreak lasted for six months & was so serious that schools were closed. ( v i a […]

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F*** It Friday – Moving Away, Solo

It’s back to school time!  I remember being in school & thinking it was never going to end. I’m a big learning person but not necessarily a big school, take tests & make grades person. This week’s F*** It Friday post is for anyone thinking of attempting their FIRST major F*** It moment. My first […]

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F*** It Friday – Blue Nails in A Professional Setting

2nd week of F*** Friday! I love writing these, if anything it’s a great empowering moment for me to not shy away from what I feel and do! (AKA eating french fries from McDonald’s) This week: BLUE NAILS! Getting out of college and into the work force the immediate turn to take is a new […]

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F*** It Friday – I’m in Love with French Fries

F*** It.  I love French Fries.   Here’s the thing.  I have an evil relationship with french fries. And for my first F*** It Friday post, I’m dedicating it to the potato. For my ENTIRE life I’ve been a potato fan.  Maybe it’s the Midwest in me?  Norwegian heritage?!  I don’t know, but something has […]

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Beat The Sahara Heat In These Comfortable & Sexy Undergarments

Hi! I’m in a great mood this weekend! Knocked so many things off my to-do list & set myself up for a productive week.  {It’s the little things, always.} However, this heat SUCKS! And sometimes, you can’t be sitting poolside. I don’t know why its taken me almost 10 years to figure out the correct […]

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