confident

March 27, 2018

10 Ideas To Help Shake Away Anxiety or Depression, Because No Thank You

I’ve been wanting to share my ideas to shake away anxious or depressing moods for a few weeks, & I think it happened at the perfect time!  My list was recently tested since the big ol allergy attack & now I’m pretty confident in it.  At least one of the ideas below can get your spirits lifted, because there’s nothing uglier than a bad mood or ANXIETY.

DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT.  That’s kind of the ultimate goal.  Distract your mind.  Typically, I’m trying to steer clear of sadness, anxiety, stress, or worry. 

When I graduated college, I listened to gangster rap 24/7 – afraid of the other radio stations.  After receiving a college degree & barely getting an interview at Starbucks, I was having a rough time.  And gangster rap had it’s special way of keeping my mind in a “fuck you” spirit, which was better than sad pop or country songs pushing me closer & closer to a quarter life crisis.  

I suggest, starting with one idea & moving to the next if it doesn’t work.  And when you find one that does work – milk it for awhile.

10 EASY WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MOOD
1. Talk to Yourself:   A loving dialogue.  I learned this from Yoga.  Have you ever tried telling yourself nice things??  WAY more difficult than it sounds. Be nice to yourself, tell yourself kind things:  “I am happy.  I am brave.  I am strong.  I am healthy.  I’m doing the best I can.  I’m powerful. I am ok.”   Try it!

2. Podcasts:  Podcasts basically cured my anxiety.  I can 99% depend on them to relieve anxiety.  I listen to Joe Rogan when I need a distraction or Juicy Scoop when I need background noise & a quick laugh.  All of my Insta Stories at the park? I’m ALWAYS listening to a podcast.  I bring my headphones everywhere & pop them in w a podcast –  waiting rooms, shopping, when I’m getting ready, cleaning, working…

3. Music:   Even if you’re around other people – at work, next to your boyfriend, at the park.  Put your headphones in & find music that makes you feel good.  Try a few different genres, even if you’ve never heard of them.  i.e. Rap, when I need a confidence boost.  Country, when emotional.  Kygo Station when I have anxiety.  Pop, for a distraction.  Explore.

4. Shop:  I mean don’t get addicted here, but if you’re stressed – browse at the store or online.  Buy something that makes you happy or that you’ve been needing.  Even if it’s super small.  You’ll feel accomplished.  (Enter >> Amazon.)

5. Driving:  Take a break. Go for an easy/no traffic drive.  With music.

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February 14, 2018

Valentine’s Day When You’re in a Relationship

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

This is my favorite holiday because it’s all about LOVE & being kind.  Take the extra step to be thoughtful to everyone around you, ultimately that’s what Valentines Day should be about.

I tend to support single people during Valentines Day, because I think they bitch the most?  Like, I’ll stay in with my bottle of wine & The Notebook & cry myself to sleep style.  BUT this time I’m coming after people in a relationship.  Because, when you’re in a relationship for a long time, little gestures can get lost & Valentines Day can end up feeling dumb?  Single people – you’re GOOD on Valentines Day. The possibilities are endless, I used to love this holiday when I was single, read this post: HERE.

You know the CRAZY part about being in a relationship?  The amount of time you’re choosing to give someone besides yourself.  When you spend every day with someone, sleeping next to them, waking up next to them, making decisions with them, creating a family with them, living with them – in a way, you’re choosing to dedicate your life to them.  Think about it.  Because if you recall, we only have ONE life.  How intense is that?

I started thinking about this because I often hear people bitch about their significant other.  Often times joking, sometimes serious.  This typically happens after a few years together, right?  The fucking dishes, the annoying friend, the job.  At my age, it’s typically deciding about taking the step to marriage, or once in a marriage it’s about the pile of other conflicting situations that come up. But at the end of the day, we have one life.  When we’re in a long relationship,  we’re choosing to lay down next to the same person every day, for years & years.  We’re giving our lives to each other.  I can’t think of anything more significant than that, in our entire lives.  Or anyone more important to get along with.   Your kids will come, but they’ll also go create a family.  Your own family will do the same.  Your friends will come & go… But damn, that one “person” you lay down next to every night will be laying down next to you forever.  They’ll be there when people come, and they’ll be there next to you when everyone goes.

What a commitment. And what a journey.

That makes me realize bitching & moaning about little things is pointless.  Worrying about small annoyances shouldn’t matter.  Let it go, let it go.  We should be gentle with our partners, we’re giving them a humongous part of our one life. You know what I mean?

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January 30, 2018

What is ONE Thing You Learned This Year?

I was in a meeting earlier this month & everyone was asked: What is one thing you learned this year?  They asked a lot of hard questions like that…  What’s a trait in yourself that you would not want to give someone else? 

But, one thing I learned this year… Oddly enough, I feel like I’ve had a pretty comfortable year.  The years before 2017 were chaotic & I’d probably respond to this question with answers like: patience, confidence, staying positive, ect.  Moving to Dubai, adjusting there, working there, then moving back, my relationship with Wafiq, his immigration process, being broke, moving everywhere again, needing a job – every year contained variables.  And in the moment, I often felt frustrated – like I was wasting time.  I couldn’t wait to be “normal”.  Get my life on track like everyone else.

Then, this year I finally had it!  Normal & comfortable.  At the very least, it was appearing to be on track.

But, throughout the year, and I think I’ve said this before on my blog, I found myself missing the variables & chaos.  Even being broke!

For example, when you have no money, other parts of your life strengthen.  Your creativity, your imagination, your hustle, your ideas, your friendships.

For example, when you have big life decisions ahead of you,  the opportunity to impress yourself by being brave & making choices presents itself.

For example, when you’re not “on track”, you don’t have pressure or expectations.  People are either disappointed & judgemental OR they’re believing in your journey & supportive.  Relationships are defined.

There’s so much learning happening in the stages that you can’t wait to get through!

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August 14, 2017

5 Times To Stop & Think Before You Act

As you may have noticed, I write “be thoughtful” at the end of all my posts.  When I started writing regularly I wanted to think of something to end with.  Something short, that I genuinely wanted readers to leave w/every day.   I thought about “be nice” or “be kind”  because there’s nothing better than a nice person, but that’s not always the case.  Sometimes, you shouldn’t be nice.  You should be strong.  You should be loud & badass & stick up for yourself, which might not be nice.   I might actually suggest “be mean”.

I came up with “be thoughtful”.  If you slow down & you’re thoughtful of the people you’re interacting with, you’ll know whether to be nice or to be mean.   No one knows what’s going on w/the people they interact with every day and no one knows you.

I think this really amplified itself for me a year ago when I was dealing w/bad anxiety.  I feel like I looked normal but was going through such a tough time in my head.  I was trying to take things slow & gentle while I worked through my anxiety, and I felt fragile.  But people didn’t know that.

One issue I had was driving anxiety.  American’s driving is the single thing I HATE the most about America.  It’s also one of the only times I use the word hate.  Moms, dads, young people, old people, men, women, they all drive like a tasmanian devil.  It’s crazy to me!  We have these huge machines we’re plowing recklessly through traffic with and have no worry?  And where are we always rushing to?  Why are we rushing?  We’re a product of our environment, American’s are glued to time.  My advice is to say fuck it & leave work early, take your time to your kids soccer game, so you can show up alive.

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April 12, 2017

The Trouble With Money…

I’ve always dreamt of people with indispensable money – what it looks & feels like to go anywhere & do anything without a worry in the world.  Eat wherever you want, drive whatever you want, pay for your family/friends vacations, payback the people you once had to borrow from, go to any doctor you want, get a nice face mask.

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February 25, 2017

Understanding An Asshole & How To Deal w/Them

Did You Know? In 1962, there was an outbreak of contagious laughter in Tanganyika, Tanzania. It began as an isolated fit of laughter among a group of…

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July 11, 2016

Beat The Sahara Heat In These Comfortable & Sexy Undergarments

Hi! I’m in a great mood this weekend! Knocked so many things off my to-do list & set myself up for a productive week.  {It’s the little…

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