Story Telling - Aliens
Life, Story Telling

The Story Of: The Time I Found Out Aliens Are Real

Did You Know?  “To prevent competitors from also inseminating female mates, some male insects stay latched to the female for days on end. The male Indian stick insect, Necroscia sparaxes, has the record in scientific literature at 79 days.”

( v i a )

Hi everyone!

I have a horrific story to share…

Aliens DO exist & I now, know this for a fact.

Story Telling - Aliens

I was in my office last week and a friend came running through the doors looking for a guy to help them. (Of course, she was not looking for me in this situation, you’ll understand why later.)  She seemed a little more frantic than normal so I asked what happened.  She said there was a bug outside in the hallway.  I thought that was interesting because she’s not afraid of bugs. And she didn’t mention what type of bug. Are we talking spider, cockroach, beetle? In my almighty moment I told her I would go take a look – I’ve recently made truce with large spiders & felt I could at the very least monitor a cockroach while we wait for someone to get it, worst case scenario.


I went out into the hallway & a saw an alien sprinting down the wall, where the floor meets the bottom of the wall.  This mother fucker had more than 1,000 legs and was a foot long.  A centipede the size of a ruler with a 1 inch body circumference (1 INCH THICK BODY!), I’m not even talking how far it’s legs spread.    Dark color. Fast.  Agile. And foreign.  Unfortunately, I am NOT exaggerating.


I ran back into my office, called the 2 guys nearby and told them there was a bug in the vicinity.  I should have specified Alien because they took too long to get to the hallway and the alien proceeded to run toward the elevator shaft for safety. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was getting in it’s way either. My friend did run towards it & tried waving it away from the elevator, when said Alien lifted half it’s body & legs in the air as a warning to step the fuck away.


Now.  I’ve had many run ins with bugs before & am familiar with their strategies.  That asshole wasn’t going far down the elevator shaft to find a new home, he was waiting right inside it for his perfect getaway.  I tried to warn the people.  “Back away!  It’s right inside the shaft, it’s going to come back out & it can sprint!”  No one took me seriously.  They stood INSIDE the elevator to look down the shaft to search for the alien… NOT A GOOD IDEA PEOPLE.  That alien showed an entire side of tentacles out the side of the elevator shaft and everyone screamed louder than the fire alarms as they bursted out the elevator doors & quickly ran out of the entire building.  No one looked confident anymore.  The guys were panicking.  In this moment, thank God for gender roles.


It was at this point, everyone knew the severity of the situation.


Long story short, we ended up trying to electrocute the alien & then poison it with toxic spray – neither worked, of course, it has fucking alien powers.  One of the guys ended up finding a trash picker and was able to grab the alien & remove him.  It was necessary to kill it before questioning.


I will say, every single person was flabbergasted.  At a loss for words.  Because it did prove life beyond Earth is very real.  And it doesn’t conform to our standard of delightful by any means.


I’m still unable to put my feet down while sitting at my chair & am constantly on the lookout for other large aliens here on Earth.  I had vomit at the tip of my throat all day after my run in with this creature. I used to be afraid of large, flying cockroaches – I had no idea.


Be on guard today… and be thoughtful,



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Bug bite? I’m here to help.

The all so glorious bug bites. Shoot me now.

I have HAVE have to share this recent discovery with you guys.  I debated because I feel it’s a little blah but I’m sooo freakin happy, I can’t resist.

Vicks Vapo Rub for bug bites.


Oh. M. GEEEE.  Life changer.  Miracles do exist!

Maybe this trick is old news for some people, but if that’s the case, then where the hell have I been?!

Bugs adore me, the little assholes eat the shiz nitz out of my skin. I promise if there’s ONE microscopic bug and 10 people… That bug will hunt me down, travel treacherous conditions, find a perfect spot on my body – and bite me.

I lose my mind trying to figure this out.  Why me?!  That’s a whole other problem I’m working on. I’ll report back when I have a prevention plan.

FOR NOW, I have a solution.

 Vicks VaporRub for Bug Bites

All you have to do is slap a little Vicks on the bite and boom, no more itch! EEEEEEE. If you wait a couple seconds it gives off a cooling sensation that takes the itch away. {I could cry I’m so happy.}

From now on, I’m most definitely keeping a little baby Vick’s jar in my bathroom cabinet. At least until I find a prevention plan.

You know what I’m talking about if you get bug bites.  Anyone out there?  PLEASE share your ideas to prevent, heal, or any general info., I need you!


+ Not sponsored, just excited to find and share!
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The Story Of: The Time I Found Out Aliens Are Real
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