“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
~ Groucho Marx
I’m not a super fan of country music or even Garth Brooks music so don’t be afraid I’m going to lay out all my country obsessions for you. A few weeks ago I was able to see Garth Brooks in concert during SXSW. I’m not familiar with his music, I realized at all, but that didn’t matter.
Garth Brooks had the most incredibly positive attitude I’ve ever seen in concert, and in life. Happy, laughing, loving, humble. Whether or not that’s how he lives his life doesn’t matter to me because the energy during the concert radiated through everyone watching, even if you didn’t know his music. And what a gift to give that feeling.
I want to make people feel like Garth Brooks does.
And you should too.
Why not make people feel good? Why not give them a positive day? We’re able to do that. It takes worrying less about OURSELVES & more about our surroundings. Even if Garth Brooks was having a shitty day he was able to be positive enough for his audience to feel good, and I imagine that attitude can also change his shitty day into a good one.
And it wasn’t only via music, which can also make you feel a certain type of way. The happy feelings came from him, his energy, his conversation, his appreciation, the way he treated his band, his overall attitude.
We can all be like Garth Brooks you guys. Imagine walking around, making everyone feel like they’re going to have a great day?
There were two Uber drivers that did the same thing for me. I had a 5 minute interaction with them but my entire day changed. I still remember each of them, our conversation, and the feeling I had when I got out of the Uber. And I’m not typically someone that loves conversating with Uber drivers (*cough*cough* Wafiq).
If you’ve ever met this type of person, it’s something you shouldn’t forget. Take notes. Because these people instantly make you feel comfortable, they have such a gift! I imagine they lead a really positive life, always seeing the glass half full, and because that’s their lives it radiates in their everyday interactions. Every single time I run into these people I desperately want to pay it forward.
I consider myself a positive person, but I want to do better. I want people to leave conversations with me, feeling my energy. Feeling the positivity. This is also why it’s so important to keep negative people away. How can you stay positive when you constantly have people with a negative attitude around you?
5 Tips For Being ‘The Positive Guy’
Treat People Well: Garth Brooks adored the hell out of his band. He took plenty of time to showcase each member of his band & their talents, hobbies, attitudes, and families. It feels good to see people treat people good. Simple. When you see a husband treat his wife with respect, love, priority & care – you feel good. You know what I mean? To be around others that treat “their peeps” well, gives you positive energy as well. It makes you want to treat your peeps the same way.
Smile: This is very easy & something I make an effort to do. Mostly because one time I was at the lounge in The W waiting for the bathroom and these two extremely gorgeous girls walked by glaring at me & I felt so upset afterwards. What did I do?! When I came out of the bathroom I asked Wafiq to make sure I’m always smiling. Even to the meanies. I don’t want to glare at people or look sad or angry – I want to look happy & positive. Trust me, it makes a big difference. Those girls went from 10’s to 2’s real quick.
Pick your people: Like I said, being around negative people makes it a constant challenge to remain positive. As easy as positive energy can make you feel positive, negative energy can do the same. Surround yourself with positive people & you’ll see how easy it is to be positive yourself. And if you don’t have any friends, or positive people in your life right now – keep searching until you find them 🙂
Don’t Play Victim: A hard one for everyone! And similar to my Listening Post. Nothing errks me more than people who are constantly trying to make you feel sorry for them. Don’t be that person. Don’t project YOUR stress from work, money, relationship, life onto other people. Think about others. Every single person has their own struggles & battles. You’re not unique. You’re not special. Unfortunately, we’re all going through something we could bitch about. So, be grateful for what you have, act like you are, and send that energy out into the world – even if you had a bad day.
Let Go: I’m always preaching this one to Wafiq & I happen to think it’s something I’ve mastered in the past year or so… If you have a bad day, bad situation, bad conversation, woke up late, car broke down, ran out of money or anything else that sucks big time – Let. It. Go. None of that shit really matters in the whole scheme of things. Time is going to pass by and you’ll never remember it happening. So don’t let it effect the people around you, because that can ruin someone’s day, and it’s not worth it. The important thing is to let it go, deal with it and forget it. Don’t let it seep into conversations, your attitude, your energy, your smiles. LET IT GO. I think this is the hardest for most people, but I would argue the most important.
Whenever Wafiq or myself starts having a little negative moment we’re quick to say: “Be like Garth Brooks”. LOL! Better than saying: “You’re being an asshole”. Right?! Whatever works guys.
Being positive sounds normal & easy but it’s a lifestyle. And a choice you have to make everyday. You either live with the intention to be positive or not, so lets work on it! Let’s make people feel good! Why not?!
Be like Garth Brooks today & as always, be thoughtful
Did You Know? According to an Ipsos poll conducted on behalf of Netflix, movies and television shows are the top two icebreakers for a first date. Show-compatibility is important, with 13% saying they would ask someone out based solely on mutual interest in a TV show. ( v i a )
Valentine’s Day is for everyone. I fucking love February. The red, pink, white, with flowers, hearts, wine & chocolate? Hallmark Holiday? YUUUUUUUUHSsss please!
Around this time of year I start hearing Valentine’s Day haters, so I swing opposite – I’m a Valentine’s Day ride or die lover. I know I say this every year, but having a reminder to verbally express how much you appreciate or love someone is important. I know people don’t do it enough, because it’s impossible to do it enough! We’re stuck in routines that create tunnel vision unless we have moments that break us out. Enter >> Valentine’s Day.
Seriously, it might be my favorite holiday. And I celebrate all month.
Valentine’s Day, when you’re Single –
Being single for Valentine’s Day might be better than being in a relationship. It’s very unpredictable. I spent many Valentines Day’s single & I had a fantastic time. The chance of having a date with someone you just met, celebrating with your precious doggie, appreciating a close friendship, taking time for yourself to watch Netflix << All options sound like a fucking dream. There’s nothing like being single, you have so much freedom to make choices for yourself & Valentine’s Day is a reminder of that. YOU can decide how you want to love YOU. On a first date, watching movies, or hanging with a friend? Your choice. Relationship peeps have to stare at the same face they had dinner with last night + the added pressure of making it special (HA!). Give your friends a little Valentine’s Day love by bringing them a cake, or a new bracelet, or sparkly shoes. I love giving my girlfriends little gifts & messages. Valentine’s Day is the time to be a little cheesey & buy some cute, shiny gifts. Love is most definitely not only between two people in a relationship, it should be spread to everyone.
Valentine’s Day when you’re in a Relationship –
GO OUT TO DINNER. No one does this on Valentine’s Day, have you noticed? On Valentine’s Day! We love to use the excuse that Valentine’s Day is just another day, “we love each other everyday” or that Valentine’s Day is stupid, or Lord knows all the reasons Valentine’s Day is a P.O.S. But we get it! You’re so in love all day every day. (Or, you basically hate romance.) BUT, take a break in your week, slow down, and go out to a little dinner without phones & connect with your partner. We go so fast – working, playing, skipping, stressing – we don’t allow ourselves space to slow down & create time. Use Valentine’s Day. Nothing fancy, because making it a huge deal is exhausting. Take your time through the food, put your phones away, and stare into each others eyes. LOL LOL just kidding, but listen & talk.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to show loving behavior that’s out of character for you. Weird? For example, if you don’t usually bring in snacks for your coworkers because you prefer looking tough & unemotional, bring in a fucking cake & slap it on the table with forks. Cheers! If you’ve never given a greeting card with a personal note inside, buy a few & hand them out! SMILE to everyone. Be nice. Be thoughtful. Give your doggie an extra long walk, listen to someone longer that you normally would, call your parents. And I challenge you (and I) to continue making these nice gestures all month long.
Don’t you think that’s better than all the other shit going on? Lets keep loving, kissing, hugging, eating cake, dancing, listening, and being thoughtful.
October, October bring on October. A lot going on!
Kim Kardashian held at gun point in Paris? I hate hearing things like that because I start thinking – if she can get in that situation, so can anyone! She has body guards, I have a freaking doggie that’s afraid of people. I guess when it’s your time, it’s your time.
Recently, a lot going on around me. I feel like I need to stand completely still. Hold on to sweet Bernie & Wafiq for dear life… & not move.
Does that ever happen to you? So much movement & activity, the only thing you can do is try to be still. (I imagine that’s a little how the apocalypse will feel.)
You’re a little invested in each person’s difficulties & you take it on yourself, but also try not to because it’s important for you to keep it together for them. One day at a time is the best way to go.
Through all this, one thing I can’t stand is mean people. It sounds like something your 2nd grade teacher would say, but I notice myself finding that’s the best word I can find to describe people: “Don’t be mean little Bobby.” I find myself wanting to do less & less with other people because I don’t want to be around anyone that’s mean – to me or to anyone else. And shockingly that’s hard to find. When I do find nice people I appreciate them so much.
I think people are mean either because they’re selfish & are upset that any given situation isn’t going their way, so they lash out & act mean as a way to return their feelings.
The other reason I think people are mean is to defend themselves. Either their confidence, their lifestyle, their choices, their words, their actions, their moods…
Both reasons suck.
I keep telling myself to be as nice as possible to as many people as I can & hopefully that will rub off on them. Even when I’m around a group of mean people for example, I notice myself mumbling mean things under my breathe & I have to immediately remind myself to stop.
Staying away from mean people is the best way to handle it, because adding only makes things worse.
I will say, defending yourself is acceptable & different than being mean. My suggestion when defending yourself is to use facts & as little emotion as possible, otherwise mean things might projectile out.
Facts keep things unarguable.
Defending yourself is just as important as being kind, but being mean is a whole other ball game that I have no interest in getting tickets to.
One a lighter note – What’s going on in our house? I’ve been working to streamline my blog, try to focus it a little more. My goal is to have all the brand aspects, website accessibility, links, posts, social media, ect more functional by the end of the year. I feel like I worked this year to experiment a little (thank you to anyone still straggling along with me) to see what was comfortable, what worked, what didn’t… And next year I want a little better focus. So between now and January that’s what I’m working towards.
Wafiq, Bernice and our house is as happy of a home as it can be. We’re so happy to have it! I can’t express how much I live for little ways of decorating, visiting Home Goods, buying a new cooking tool, organizing and purging my own closet – it’s a dream.
How’s everyone else doing? I’m excited because this is the first year I’m exercising my right to vote! WOOT WOOT! Felling more American than ever.
Have a relaxed day, be kind, and extra thoughtful.