“You have this one life. How do you want to spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don’t see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud.”
My favorite day of the week has turned into Wednesday’s because I’ve somehow managed to get myself addicted to Survivor. I haven’t watched the series since the first season but have come full circle, watching again. I love competition, but that is one show I would never want to be a part of!
The Real Hosuewives of Atlanta really had me hooked as well. JUICY. I have never wanted to be a part of a group of friends more in my life. They are the baddest. And I’m addicted. I can’t turn the show on while Wafiq’s home because he can’t stand the yelling, but I sneak it in when I can.
I have so many super exciting posts coming up but I’ve stalled a little because I have a Web Designer working on my website… I want MissBassmaster to to be functioning & professional, and I am not good enough to get the job done myself so I’ve finally found someone to help. Editing & working through the new site has taken a ton of time so I haven’t been as present on MissBassmaster as I want to be, but I REALLY believe it’ll be worth it.
Hopefully this will all be done in a week or two.. or three! We’ll see…
In the meantime, I’m only going to post a few times a week & spend energy creating more!
I thought I’d fill you in as there may be a chance someone looks forward to my posts & notices they’re not happening as often. I have not disappeared or slowed down… Just making things smoother!
There’s something about being a badass bragger that I love.
If you do it wrong, than bragging is horrifically obnoxious.
I love hearing people talk about what they’re passionate about, what makes them happy. Whether that was a time in their life or an event they’re currently going through. To see them get excited & feel comfortable enough opening up is exciting. Conversations like these really get me going.
But there’s also people that don’t know how to brag properly. They’re more focused on being a show off than sharing good news. I think if you have to glorify every part of your life & constantly talk about it, there must be some self-confidence issues going on. (LOL I’m laughing at my physiological conclusions here, but stay with me)
I broke down 5 Rules To A Good Brag because I think at some point bragging is awesome, but you have to do it correctly.
5 Rules To Being A Badass Bragger
Wait for someone to ASK YOU about something. This rule is a little tricky because sometimes people don’t know what to ask. But, for the most part, always wait for someone to ask about you & what you’ve been up to. If that’s your children, dog, career, vacation, relationship, boyfriend – wait for them to ask. “How’s work going?” “I saw you ran a marathon, was it hard?” “How’s Bernice?” If they never ask, that’s pretty telling, they don’t give a shit. HA! Send them to my post on: LISTENING.
Shut Up. Conversation tip across the board – Shut Up. Don’t go on forever about anything, ever. No matter who you are or how important the info you’re sharing is, remember to cut it off. Or at least stop, breathe, and ask for questions?
Think about the WHY. Why are you sharing? Are you sharing because you want to feel better about yourself? That’s not the right reason. Are you sharing because you’re excited & want others to feel excited too? Then brag away! But don’t brag simply so you can feel cool, or better, or special. Brag because you’re overjoyed & want others to feel overjoyed too.
Always express your GENUINE gratitude & appreciation. This is the most important one to being a good bragger. You have to always make sure you express how lucky you are to be married to the top RE Agent in the U.S. ( 😉 ) Or how grateful you are to travel through the African Safari for 6 months of the year. Or how appreciative you are that you have the career of your dreams. I don’t know what you’re bragging about, but it’s important to ALWAYS be humble while bragging. Then others know, you know, you’re lucky.
Try to include your audience. Sometimes you might be bragging about something huge. You’re getting married, you’re having a kid.. That’s big stuff, and likely your audience isn’t going through that large of an event to equally be able to brag about it… Still try to include them, rather than talk AT them forever. If they have kids, or got married, try to relate or ask questions. Help them remember those times. Bring them in, because talking AT people is really annoying, so do your best to include them somehow.
What do you think about Bragging?! Funny topic right? Bragging is weird to admit because it’s so much conversation about yourself! But it’s fun to be excited with people who are excited, so if you brag correctly – then brag away!
I’m off to brag to Wafiq about how I was paid today and have yet to blow it all online shopping! I’m sharing with him because I’m excited & I’ll ask him how he’s doing on his savings so we can be proud together! HA!
Have a great weekend everyone! Go out, brag away, and be thoughtful…
Did You Know? “To prevent competitors from also inseminating female mates, some male insects stay latched to the female for days on end. The male Indian stick insect, Necroscia sparaxes, has the record in scientific literature at 79 days.”
I was in my office last week and a friend came running through the doors looking for a guy to help them. (Of course, she was not looking for me in this situation, you’ll understand why later.) She seemed a little more frantic than normal so I asked what happened. She said there was a bug outside in the hallway. I thought that was interesting because she’s not afraid of bugs. And she didn’t mention what type of bug. Are we talking spider, cockroach, beetle? In my almighty moment I told her I would go take a look – I’ve recently made truce with large spiders & felt I could at the very least monitor a cockroach while we wait for someone to get it, worst case scenario.
I went out into the hallway & a saw an alien sprinting down the wall, where the floor meets the bottom of the wall. This mother fucker had more than 1,000 legs and was a foot long. A centipede the size of a ruler with a 1 inch body circumference (1 INCH THICK BODY!), I’m not even talking how far it’s legs spread. Dark color. Fast. Agile. And foreign. Unfortunately, I am NOT exaggerating.
I ran back into my office, called the 2 guys nearby and told them there was a bug in the vicinity. I should have specified Alien because they took too long to get to the hallway and the alien proceeded to run toward the elevator shaft for safety. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was getting in it’s way either. My friend did run towards it & tried waving it away from the elevator, when said Alien lifted half it’s body & legs in the air as a warning to step the fuck away.
Now. I’ve had many run ins with bugs before & am familiar with their strategies. That asshole wasn’t going far down the elevator shaft to find a new home, he was waiting right inside it for his perfect getaway. I tried to warn the people. “Back away! It’s right inside the shaft, it’s going to come back out & it can sprint!” No one took me seriously. They stood INSIDE the elevator to look down the shaft to search for the alien… NOT A GOOD IDEA PEOPLE. That alien showed an entire side of tentacles out the side of the elevator shaft and everyone screamed louder than the fire alarms as they bursted out the elevator doors & quickly ran out of the entire building. No one looked confident anymore. The guys were panicking. In this moment, thank God for gender roles.
It was at this point, everyone knew the severity of the situation.
Long story short, we ended up trying to electrocute the alien & then poison it with toxic spray – neither worked, of course, it has fucking alien powers. One of the guys ended up finding a trash picker and was able to grab the alien & remove him. It was necessary to kill it before questioning.
I will say, every single person was flabbergasted. At a loss for words. Because it did prove life beyond Earth is very real. And it doesn’t conform to our standard of delightful by any means.
I’m still unable to put my feet down while sitting at my chair & am constantly on the lookout for other large aliens here on Earth. I had vomit at the tip of my throat all day after my run in with this creature. I used to be afraid of large, flying cockroaches – I had no idea.
Like I’ve mentioned before, the one complaint I have about Amazon is the browsing options. You can’t really get on Amazon & browse through it like you would at a store or another website. You have to know what you’re looking for in order for Amazon to be useful. That’s why I like sharing what I buy.
Today’s list is 10 Under $10.
I tried to keep all of the items Prime eligible so you don’t end up paying for shipping, if you’re a Prime member that is – which at this stage in the game, how can you not be?
This is your friendly reminder to order this awesome, super affordable water proof phone case before Summer is in full swing. It’s awesome for the pool/lake/ocean when you want to keep your snapchat & photos going strong – but also convenient to protect your phone from all water concerns.
I was using the original Beauty Blender for a while but I hated how dirty they got. I attempted cleaning them but am never satisfied. Spending $20 every time I wanted a new one seemed ridiculous, so I started using these beauty sponges instead & haven’t looked back. I use them for a majority of my makeup & it honestly makes the application too easy.
If you didn’t know this vacuum wine stopper existed, and at such an affordable price, then I apologize. I was also missing out for a long time & I understand that unfortunate feeling. Like all your best friends knew about a secret pill to keep you skinny & never told you. I’m there.
I love fairy lights because they make the perfect relaxed ambiance. I’m also a 7 year old girl inside. I was using old Christmas lights during my morning Yoga to achieve the perfect lighting but since then have discovered these string lights & love them! I hung them all over the place & get away with it because you can’t see the string until you turn them on 🙂
I recently discovered how AMAZING Amazon is for costume & craft supplies. I went to Carnaval a few months ago & made costumes for Wafiq & I. After searching costume shops & craft stores I compared all the prices with what I found on Amazon & it was incomparable. I don’t think I’ll be in a costume or craft store again for a long time, the savings are that awesome. ( Body Jewels, Costume Glue, Yarn )
If you don’t already own these bowls for your doggies then you need to! They’re so easy to transport – you’ll always have a dish available for water. My dog still acts like a 2 year old & inhales all her food in mili-seconds so I find it helps to collapse her bowl when she’s done & easily put it away. I’m trying to help her work through her binge eating habits. (Also, THESE dog treats!)
I pick up ALL my dog’s droppings & if you have a dog you should too. I get red with fury when I bring my dog on walks & there’s dog shit everywhere. Even super large mounds of dog shit in the middle of a path, really?! Who the fuck does this? It really pisses me off. And, I’ve done so well with my animal, I’ve managed to teach her not to shit on walking paths – she goes on a little gander off the path to take her bathroom break, then I proceed to pick it up & throw it in the trash can. You also notice I say: throw it in the trash can? That doesn’t mean you put the shit in a bag, tie the top, & drop it on the ground for someone else to pick up – doesn’t work like that people. I know I’m venting on behalf of other people & am definitely not alone. The dog bags on Amazon come in huge packs so you will NOT run out & they’re super affordable! No excuses. Pick up your dog shit!
You know how annoying it is when one of those small, round batteries dies? Because you’ll never remember to pick up another one at the store & you definitely won’t remember what battery it is, RTJ-0078 or WJO-2833 or NWH-9340293, – not happening. They’re typically cheaper on Amazon AND all you have to do is open the app on your phone, click, and order. Easy!
I buy all my dental products on Amazon, and here’s a toothpaste for you. I like Tom’s products. I haven’t done research about them but they seem to work the best for me, rather than the typical Crest or Trident brands. The world made me paranoid of chain products so I trick myself into feeling better by purchasing Tom’s.
If you get the Amazon App you can order everything on this list for under $100 and have it at your door in 2 days. It’s a miracle, isn’t it? What else do you guys buy on Amazon, it’s as if Amazon users are in a secret little club of all things easy!
I hope you’re all rounding out your April in the best way! I’m about to finally confront myself with the reality that this may be the last weekend I see 80 degree temperatures in awhile – at least while in Texas. I’ve had a long talk with my dog about this, as we both hate it equally. Soon, I think we’ll get our minds right & be able to handle our reality – let’s see.
Did You Know? “Already, the ocean is filled with about 165 million tons of plastic. That’s 25 times heavier than the Great Pyramid of Giza. By 2050, plastic in the oceans (is predicted to) outweigh fish.”
One thing that drives me nuts is throw-away plastic. I really can’t stand it.
And because it’s Earth Day this weekend I thought it would be a good time to address throw-away plastic.
I use old glass coconut oil jars for nuts & mixes too!
Veggies always ready to snack on…
Chopped onion ready for recipes & lunches // Beans ready to go for salads!
THESE containers are perfect for lunches – great portion size & love that they’re wide, not deep
3 Things You Need To Stop Using, TODAY
1. Plastic Serving Items:
Plastic plates, utensils, cups, bowls, straws – all need to go! I can’t remember the last time I purchased any of those items. I remember in the 19th century when we thought using plastic items was incredibly smart because it made clean-up easier, but that was the 19th century when we didn’t know how much that was effecting our mother earth.
Honestly, it takes two seconds to get everything through the dishwasher & once you get in the habit of it, you don’t even notice the clean-up.
Large garbage bags filled with plastic serving utensils is disturbing. Not to mention half of it blows away or breaks in the process & isn’t even used. Instead – use real, affordable, inexpensive items that you’ll easily be able to wash, store, & reuse.
2. Zip Lock Bags:
Zip Lock Bags are dumb. Wafiq had a hard time letting go of these but after much trickery I’ve managed to keep them out of the house & he’s barely noticed.
I use these red containers for EVERYTHING. I chop onions, broccoli, jalapenos, and other veggies – then leave them in the containers to easily pull out & use for a quick lunch or recipe.
This size is particularly awesome for the Oatmeal I eat every morning.
And the containers make your refrigerator look so organized!! Much better than bags hanging out all over the place. This size is the perfect portion for your meals, anything bigger allows room for too much food!
I also use containers to freeze meat. Rather than the whole package, I’ll separate the pieces & freeze them in portions of my choosing.
Time to ditch zip locks people! These containers are awesome, $23 for a set of 40, and you can buy them at Target OR Amazon Prime!
3. Paper Towels & Plastic Water Bottles:
I put paper towels & water bottles together because I understand avoiding these two items completely is not realistic for some people.
As far as paper towels are concerned – you can no longer be the person who grabs a paper towel EVERY SINGLE TIME you wash & dry your hands. My jaw drops writing that. You know how many paper towels you use & go through?! Buy a few kitchen towels to dry your hands & switch them out as often as you need to in order to keep them clean. Period. Paper towels should be more of a back-up option.
As far as water bottles – I never drink out of the plastic ones unless I’m desperate for water & forgot to bring my own, which is rare. I always have a huge water bottle with ice that I carry around & refill. Every time I leave the house & of course while in the house. (I shamefully became a Yeti addict recently, nothing like a freezing cold drink of water. I use a metal straw with mine. ) If anyone buys those God forsaken small, 8oz, water bottles still – It’s time to stop immediately. What a waste!
The Oatmeal I Eat Every Single Morning // Recipe: HERE
Fail Free (homemade) Ready To Bake Cookies // Recipe: HERE
What do you think? Anyone else have any obsessive ways to ditch trash/recycle build up?
I’m not a huge climate change advocate but it does break my heart to see what mother earth is going through, especially with some of our wasteful decisions – so I try my best to do little things that will hopefully make a difference. Creating less trash sounds like a good start.
“If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.” – Thomas Jefferson
Making friends is like finding a boyfriend. It’s not easy. Especially if you’re looking for a good friend & you’re not a smoking hot professional cheerleader.
Like a boyfriend, you can date a lot of people & be pretty happy, but finding that one good one is hard. Same with friends. You can have a lot of them, but finding those really good friends that you love like family is hard to find.
I’ve never been the girl with a long list of friends. I wouldn’t be the one with 20 bridesmaids or 1,000 people at my wedding. There’s a huge part of me that has always been envious of those people. They were able to cultivate friendships from high school & college that stayed with them their whole lives. I love that & am honestly impressed & a little envious…
I’m the one that could stay at home 99% of my life, only to go get food & walk my precious angel dog, but other than that I’m good to go at home. I remember the one thing that hurt my feelings the most, from 2 of my ex boyfriends, was when they said I don’t have any friends. AH! In context, it wasn’t meant to hurt my feelings, it was immature boys trying to get away with hanging out with their single friends all the time, which I can understand – but hearing them tell me I have no friends was so fucking embarrassing. Because it was a little true. Since then, I’ve done better at making friends & am now a little more outgoing, because I have to be… But if you have no friends, don’t worry. I’ve apparently been there, twice.
So, meeting people has always been something I work at. I’ve been super lucky in the sense that I’ve had a few really awesome friendships in my life that showed me how important friendships are. Some helped me grow, some challenged me, some helped me worry less, some helped me be more confident, some taught me a lesson. Because of how much each friendship helped shape me, I know the value good friendships have.
The whole reason I’m putting this post together is because I started hearing people talk about friendships. Maintaining friendships that were once strong but are going through change. Looking for new friends that are easy to be around & share similar values. Keeping or making friends that have similar interests come Friday night. And simply the cycle of friendships. It’s a weird topic to bring up because we’re adults & how do you start talking about friends? Sounds elementary.
When we’re kids we have friends that like to play hop scotch & jump rope together. That’s pretty easy. But when we’re older, shit gets a little more complicated than jumping rope. In a good way, you get to actually talk. Have interesting conversations. Build each other’s character. But everyone is growing into their own lifestyle, opinions, locations, and families.
Because friends are similar to boyfriends, I think they should be treated the same way. You have to work hard to find the good ones, and then work to maintain them. Sitting inside, living within your routine, won’t bring new people into your lives. That doesn’t happen. You have to be available, by getting yourself out there.
And once you find a really awesome human being that you get to call a friend, you have to make sure to maintain the friendship. Give. Appreciate. Listen. Evolve.
And let a relationship have it’s cycle. Maybe it’ll go up & down. Someone’s busy, or going through a phase, or growing apart – Let that happen for a little while. It’ll come around. (That’s for friends, not boyfriends HA!)
What I figured out was that you can’t get comfy. You have to work at getting outside your routine & what’s normal. And like I said in my Money post, this doesn’t mean go out & spend money. Go for a walk, go to the park, go to the beach, go on a hike… Get creative! You don’t have classrooms with new students each semester, so you have to get your ass out there & open up to finding people.
As much as I would love to say Wafiq, my mom, and my dog are the only friends I need – I realize without good friends we’re still missing a whole other element to living. So don’t get stuck with you dog, or cats, or partners. Even though I would die a happy person & be very comfortable that way, I know there’s more!
Making friends sucks, but having friends makes it worth it. Take on the week ready to mingle like you’re single! Or maybe you’re both, get your boyfriends & friends all in one week!
“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
~ Groucho Marx
I’m not a super fan of country music or even Garth Brooks music so don’t be afraid I’m going to lay out all my country obsessions for you. A few weeks ago I was able to see Garth Brooks in concert during SXSW. I’m not familiar with his music, I realized at all, but that didn’t matter.
Garth Brooks had the most incredibly positive attitude I’ve ever seen in concert, and in life. Happy, laughing, loving, humble. Whether or not that’s how he lives his life doesn’t matter to me because the energy during the concert radiated through everyone watching, even if you didn’t know his music. And what a gift to give that feeling.
I want to make people feel like Garth Brooks does.
And you should too.
Why not make people feel good? Why not give them a positive day? We’re able to do that. It takes worrying less about OURSELVES & more about our surroundings. Even if Garth Brooks was having a shitty day he was able to be positive enough for his audience to feel good, and I imagine that attitude can also change his shitty day into a good one.
And it wasn’t only via music, which can also make you feel a certain type of way. The happy feelings came from him, his energy, his conversation, his appreciation, the way he treated his band, his overall attitude.
We can all be like Garth Brooks you guys. Imagine walking around, making everyone feel like they’re going to have a great day?
There were two Uber drivers that did the same thing for me. I had a 5 minute interaction with them but my entire day changed. I still remember each of them, our conversation, and the feeling I had when I got out of the Uber. And I’m not typically someone that loves conversating with Uber drivers (*cough*cough* Wafiq).
If you’ve ever met this type of person, it’s something you shouldn’t forget. Take notes. Because these people instantly make you feel comfortable, they have such a gift! I imagine they lead a really positive life, always seeing the glass half full, and because that’s their lives it radiates in their everyday interactions. Every single time I run into these people I desperately want to pay it forward.
I consider myself a positive person, but I want to do better. I want people to leave conversations with me, feeling my energy. Feeling the positivity. This is also why it’s so important to keep negative people away. How can you stay positive when you constantly have people with a negative attitude around you?
5 Tips For Being ‘The Positive Guy’
Treat People Well: Garth Brooks adored the hell out of his band. He took plenty of time to showcase each member of his band & their talents, hobbies, attitudes, and families. It feels good to see people treat people good. Simple. When you see a husband treat his wife with respect, love, priority & care – you feel good. You know what I mean? To be around others that treat “their peeps” well, gives you positive energy as well. It makes you want to treat your peeps the same way.
Smile: This is very easy & something I make an effort to do. Mostly because one time I was at the lounge in The W waiting for the bathroom and these two extremely gorgeous girls walked by glaring at me & I felt so upset afterwards. What did I do?! When I came out of the bathroom I asked Wafiq to make sure I’m always smiling. Even to the meanies. I don’t want to glare at people or look sad or angry – I want to look happy & positive. Trust me, it makes a big difference. Those girls went from 10’s to 2’s real quick.
Pick your people: Like I said, being around negative people makes it a constant challenge to remain positive. As easy as positive energy can make you feel positive, negative energy can do the same. Surround yourself with positive people & you’ll see how easy it is to be positive yourself. And if you don’t have any friends, or positive people in your life right now – keep searching until you find them 🙂
Don’t Play Victim: A hard one for everyone! And similar to my Listening Post. Nothing errks me more than people who are constantly trying to make you feel sorry for them. Don’t be that person. Don’t project YOUR stress from work, money, relationship, life onto other people. Think about others. Every single person has their own struggles & battles. You’re not unique. You’re not special. Unfortunately, we’re all going through something we could bitch about. So, be grateful for what you have, act like you are, and send that energy out into the world – even if you had a bad day.
Let Go: I’m always preaching this one to Wafiq & I happen to think it’s something I’ve mastered in the past year or so… If you have a bad day, bad situation, bad conversation, woke up late, car broke down, ran out of money or anything else that sucks big time – Let. It. Go. None of that shit really matters in the whole scheme of things. Time is going to pass by and you’ll never remember it happening. So don’t let it effect the people around you, because that can ruin someone’s day, and it’s not worth it. The important thing is to let it go, deal with it and forget it. Don’t let it seep into conversations, your attitude, your energy, your smiles. LET IT GO. I think this is the hardest for most people, but I would argue the most important.
Whenever Wafiq or myself starts having a little negative moment we’re quick to say: “Be like Garth Brooks”. LOL! Better than saying: “You’re being an asshole”. Right?! Whatever works guys.
Being positive sounds normal & easy but it’s a lifestyle. And a choice you have to make everyday. You either live with the intention to be positive or not, so lets work on it! Let’s make people feel good! Why not?!
Be like Garth Brooks today & as always, be thoughtful
Did You Know? Some people believe “if I make more money, I can be competitive and win the race,” When money is the top priority for a person, and they lose it – because of a layoff, for instance – their self-worth shrinks. (“They mix up net worth with self-worth.”) They suffer significantly because money is the only thing that matters, instead of another person who places greater value in family and is passionate about other things.
Money is the driver of pretty much everything. You need it to survive, to pay the bills, to have a roof over your head. You also need it to fund activities in order to keep you sane from your full time job that’s paying those bills.
I’ve always dreamt of people with indispensable money – what it looks & feels like to go anywhere & do anything without a worry in the world. Eat wherever you want, drive whatever you want, pay for your family/friends vacations, payback the people you once had to borrow from, go to any doctor you want, get a nice face mask.
However, this post isn’t about wanting money, it’s about appreciating what we have.
Abroad, all I wanted was fucking money. I was SOOO broke. I wasn’t able to work right away because the Visa permit for my job was taking longer than I expected & when you breathe in Dubai you spend $500/breath, so there’s that. Any money I could get my hands on disappeared before I had a chance to look at it. And, I didn’t even know how to borrow money from anyone at home. Thank God I didn’t know how to open a credit card! So, I had to ask favors from people in Dubai that I barely knew at that point. I felt like I lost all my power & confidence. (Enter: Shingles) Not exaggerating, I counted every. single. cent. (or dirham in that case). Until finally, I started working & feeling like myself again.
But, when Wafiq & I moved back to the U.S. from Dubai, with only our savings accounts, we were back to feeling like we had nothing. Of course we had our savings but with no income those numbers start shrinking fast, not to mention the unexpected cost of immigration lawyers & the fees associated with their services. Back to NO FREAKING MONEY! (Very familiar feeling.) At times, it was sickening & scary. But the curve ball here is, all the moments we shared together where we felt alive! The hustle of life right under our feet & only possibility ahead. Not yet in a full time corporate job that was holding us back, only imagination & a blank slate ahead. It was a mix of feeling like we’re the biggest fucking losers on Earth that can barely eat, to free spirits with the entire world & all of its opportunities spread out in front of us. In a cage, but free.
Well, we’re not that broke anymore.
But, because I know the feeling & I don’t doubt that it could happen again… I wanted to write about being broke. It fucking sucks baaaaad. But so does having money. Money sucks. I’ve been friends with people that have had a lot of money their entire lives, and always will. With money comes greed & stubbornness. Your surroundings appear cloudy. What’s real & what isn’t. Who needs a favor & who wants one.
I’ve also been friends with people that once received a lot of money after living without it for most of their lives. Even this scenario can turn ugly. Money changes people. Takes away the depth of conversations, turns the topics into competition. Proving themselves & their worth.
Looking back, not having money was a grind that I’m happy I did my best to appreciate. I had beautifully authentic conversations & met some of the most genuine people in those times. I had nothing more to offer than my friendship & a night in playing cards w/$3 bottles of wine, drinking it out of a plastic coffee cup. (PS. I was out of college, this was no longer acceptable.) I connected with people that valued life & friendship more than the depth of each other’s pockets.
When Wafiq & I had no money we wouldn’t go out very often because we simply couldn’t afford it. But it was so easy to say that: “we can’t afford going out because we don’t currently have a job… or money.” HA! Now? We have to say yes to a steak dinner and taste our wine with a seal of approval before we purchase the glass. Once upon a time, we used to get very creative with dates. The park or beach with a picnic meal & cheap wine. Cheese plates with a movie in the background & cards on the table. Driving around brainstorming ideas of companies to apply for or career paths to get involved in.
My point is, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And I think the solution is to be grateful for what you currently have & to be thoughtful of the people around you. Whether you have money now or you don’t, be thoughtful & appreciate where you’re at. Listen, create good conversations about weird things. Also, get out of your own demographic a little. For me, that helped understand money a lot better. When you become friends with people that truly have NO money and people that truly have an abundance of money, you’ll learn a lot.
I love the idea of simply being thoughtful. It takes slowing down & being vulnerable, but that’s better than leading with insecurities. Go out today & be thoughtful while you take on the world & work work work work work! You got this, whatever amount is in your pocket is enough for today!
Books + Podcasts + Music are the three things I need. I use them to help my mind take a break. I want to disclose, I’m all over the place when it comes to reading. I go through phases where I want to read about drug addiction, then Jesus Christ, then marketing, and sometimes a good fiction of a girl trapped in the woods. The variety keeps me from getting bored & I highly recommend opening your genre preferences.
I first saw Jenny Mollen on Chelsea from Netflix. She’s married to Jason Biggs. I didn’t know these two are so hilarious until watching the show. They’re funny in the exact way I’m obsessed with. Her book is full of honest stories throughout her life that everyone can relate to but no one would admit. Honesty is my favorite comedy. I was a mix of laughing & in shock throughout the whole read. Super easy, funny & fast read.
I wanted more from this book. It made me feel nice inside & was funny but not too much more. I heard really good things which is why I went back in time to read Bossypants, but I would have to say it was only okay. You know, I’m looking for the sauce! She might be too perfect for that.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t get through this book, I just couldn’t! I tried reading, restarting, trying again and again, but nothing! It’s about the drug world & following a DEA agent named Art. The story takes place over a long period of time & has several storylines that intertwine. If anyone has read this book and has a review, please share it with me. Or just tell me the ending. Maybe I’m not Veteran enough to get through a book like this. Or maybe it sucks.
Ok, call me crazy, but I loved this book. Ha! So juicy. I used to watch The Girls Next Door & couldn’t believe these women would ever date this old guy, even with the money! If you want gossip & to get the inside scoop into someone else’s life that is a total opposite of yours, this is the book. I loved it. Talk about sauce.
I don’t know who Corey Feldman is but happened upon the book when I was going through Amazon, now I want to go back & watch his movies. He was a young actor & eventually became addicted to drugs. He was BFF’s with Michael Jackson. He talks about the darkest shit in such a light way. It made me realize you don’t know what people are going through, even while they’re functioning. Dark, but good read.
My cousin recommended this cookbook, I think because they say Fuck a lot. I would say a 10 for the food education parts of the book, but some of the recipes were pretty bland. Let’s just say, I’m not convinced I can be a Vegan after trying a couple recipes. Although, the corn bread cake + whip cream. YES! YESSSSSS! It is SO. GOOD. I would recommend this book for the food education & Corn Bread Cake any day. Also, if you like the word Fuck.
I noticed reading & listening to a variety of genres keeps the creativity side of my brain functioning. The conversations I have with Wafiq are never dull. It’s important to keep conversations moving! The worst is having the same conversations over and over and over again. I noticed books, podcasts, & music bring in variety.
New topics. New talks.
What good books have you been reading? Nothing too depressing please 🙂
Did You Know? Student loan debt is the second highest form of debt in the U.S., second only to mortgages. Around 75% of student loan borrowers have delayed buying a home because of their debt & over 40% of borrowers have delayed starting a family because of their debt.
As I was growing up, teachers, parents, grandparents, cousins, graduates, & friends all stressed the importance of having good grades to get into a good college after high school. That was the only option for anyone who wanted to be successful. That’s why we worked so hard in high school, so we can go to college. Because who doesn’t know what they want to do with their entire life at 18 years old? And if you didn’t know, you can take classes until you find out. “If you don’t go now, you’ll never go back!”
I’m not sure how this path was drilled in everyone’s mind because it doesn’t make sense to me. I think for the generation before mine, college carried more significance than it does now. It actually meant something to have a general, liberal arts, communication degree. At least you had a degree on your resume. And because it meant so much then, it only makes sense that you wouldn’t want to miss out on it now.
But times have changed.
After graduating college & applying for real life jobs, all the openings required several years of experience. A degree didn’t matter, they wanted someone who has been in the field for years. Searching through job applications today is the same story: experience, experience, experience. When I met with a job recruiter, about a year ago, she sat down to look at my resume & saw my degree listed on the weeee bottom line & asked if I actually received it, when I said yes, she replied “Ok, I’m just asking because if you didn’t we can just take it off… It’s not a big deal.”
Big deal?! My family & I just paid 1 million fucking dollars for this degree at the weee bottom of my resume & you’re saying it’s not a big deal if I leave it off?!
I wasn’t surprised. I already knew the degree wasn’t what employers were looking for, but hearing her confirm my thoughts stabbed me in the gut. Not only was I hoping the million dollar degree would help me land a job, but I was assuming I would also find a job that would make the money spent on school worth it.
College WAS the best decision of my life. It paved the way for my future. Not because of the education, but the choice to leave home & grow up. I went from shy to strong. From self-conscious to confident. From scared to brave. From 1 friend to 3. I consider it the best & most important decision I made so far in my life.
But the truth is, I thought that was the only option for me to go out on my own. I thought it was college or stay home. So I had to make the move to college, because it was the only option & I’m glad I did.
That’s also why I wanted to share this post, because there are other options. All the money you’re going to spend on college could be invested in yourself. Your own business or ideas. Travel. Experience. Life. Work.
I went into college, failed fucking math & took the Communication degree. Here’s the deal, I didn’t know shit about finances or business so math was impossible. These days, I’m reading books about money, entrepreneurs, taxes, business – all things I wish I would’ve studied in college because now I actually relate to them. I can understand them beyond just taking a class & simply digesting information.
I don’t think college is smart. I talk a lot of shit about college. But, if you know you want a career as a doctor, or scientist or engineer then you need college to fulfill your career. You can’t follow that path without the education. BUT, if you question your choice whatsoever or don’t know what you want to do, why go spend a ton of money on a path you’re uncertain of? Take time off to work, travel & learn about yourself. Move to a different state. Take an easy going job that you enjoy. Party. Date. Order a ton of books off Amazon & start educating yourself for .99 cents. (because Amazon is the shit like that).
Then, when you’re older, and happily have a savings account without millions in student loan debt, and you know what you want to do & how to get there – go back to school. If that’s the path. School’s not going anywhere & maybe someday it’ll actually be affordable.
I should also mention, in other countries the college degree holds a very high significance. They don’t care what degree it is as long as you have one. I noticed that in Dubai, so as soon as I was regretting that expensive piece of paper I did have a moment of gratitude, otherwise I don’t know if I would’ve been able to work while abroad. Do I consider the degree worth it for my stint in Dubai? Not really. But it doesn’t make me feel as bad about the whole situation either.
There are SO many ways to be successful without college today. Education is at our fingertips in more affordable & accessible ways than ever before. If I’m the only person that’s saying this, then I’m glad to do so. You DO NOT have to go to college after high school. You are likely smarter than the people who do.
Have I fallen off my rocker or are you with me? Thoughts?
Welcome to April! Go out, skip school & be thoughtful!