Attention All: We have a new motto in our household. I’m putting the same test on you & your household as well. No more “I can’t wait for…”
I’ve never been someone who’s said “I can’t wait for…” or “I can’t wait when…” very often but I caught myself the other night. I kid you not, Wafiq & I said approx 4 times in a row an “I can’t wait for…” sentence. “I can’t wait for us to get the new computer screen”, “I can’t wait for the new speaker”, “I can’t wait for…”. We sat down on our badass couch in front of our huge ass TV in our treehouse home and started laughing. WTF. We have everything we’ve ever wanted right here in front of us. There were moments we couldn’t wait to have our own space, we couldn’t wait to get through the immigration process (& payments), we couldn’t wait to make money… and here we are with all of those things fully accomplished.
And now we’re acting like we need more?!?
Even when we barely had our own room to sleep in, we rarely said out loud how much we couldn’t wait to have our own place. I think we both knew if we started to focus on the things we didn’t have, we could end up in a dark, miserable tunnel of misery. So we rarely talked negatively.
It’s interesting once you start having “things” you start focusing on more things, for some reason. I think accidentally. I laughed out loud when I heard myself. We both did. And we said, no more! It’s freaking ridiculous what we’re doing. And instead, we focused on watching the season premiere of Survivor.
Last week I did something a little anxiety provoking by logging onto Facebook & scrolling through years of pictures. I don’t use Facebook very much anymore, and have never been a die-hard Facebooker. For a few years after graduating college I deleted my Facebook all together. No matter how much mind control you have, scrolling through a feed of highlights from everyone else’s life takes its toll on you. I felt myself questing decisions I was making & comparing, comparing, comparing! – so I let Facebook go. At the time it was fantastic. Since then I’ve rarely been using it & do my best not to get sucked into scrolling through my feed.
Ok, so this leads me to the other night, I stalked myself. I wanted to see what was up with Miss Katie in her good ol Facebook days. Years ago Facebook used to be a place where people posted full albums of a night out, dinner, vacation, dog, friend, time at the park. Not 1 photo, but an album of 50. These days Facebook is more business-y? And people sharing articles. Instagram took over photos I think. So I stalked back to the days of albums. I should continue by saying, I don’t like erasing past decisions, which is why I try not to delete anything that I posted myself. If I wanted to post it at the time, that’s how I was living life! OUI!
I felt pretty good after stalking. Solid life experiences I’ve been documenting.
BUT THEN, I came across this photo of myself on my apartment balcony and immediately remembered. MY FIRST DATING APP PHOTO. I think I was 21? Somewhere around there, and guys I put so much effort into this photo! The outfit, the lighting, the smile, the head tilt! Probably even the nails… I remember getting this shirt for $5 at Forever 21 & I never loved anything more.
My one & only dating app picture – on E Harmony
I put myself on EHarmony. EHarmony at 22. I remember feeling like the guys I was meeting on my own weren’t interested in anything more than going to church with their parents on Sunday mornings OR binge drinking on Monday nights. Not for me you know, can we land somewhere in the middle? So EHarmony (and blind dates) were my jam. I pretended I was on The Bachelor and had a new date every week, on Thursday nights. I had that system running for a long time… Thursday was perfect by the way, the date didn’t interrupt one of my already planned fun weekend nights but was late enough in the week to actually relax & enjoy the night. Highly recommend setting up a similar schedule if you’re single.
The problem with Eharmony was that no one wanted to date me. I think I was too young for the site? One of the dates that I landed was with this guy that met me for appetizers. He barely spoke & I don’t think listened to anything I said. But I was so excited for this date! I remember that. I can’t remember why, I think because he was older and it made me feel like he had to be more mature & maybe potential for a 2nd date?? Well we ate the apps, he took me to a nearby bar, and I saw a smile for the first time of the night when he looked up for the first eye contact of the evening and asked “what my sexual preferences were”.
Finally the day has come, we moved into a different space. Remember when I moved into this tiny apartment and I was so happy? I believed that was literally all I needed in life, a perfect shelter. I’m still on the small living environment kick, too much space gives me anxiety. I know most people hate moving but I’ve decided I love it, I’ve moved a lot and lived out of a suitcase more years in my life than I’ve had a closet. Not really.
Getting rid of shit is my jam. It gives me the same excited butterflies you’re supposed to get when you see your significant other. Moving forces you to really purge shit out. All those things that Wafiq was making us hold on to because “we have space” are officially at Goodwill. And all the stupid clothes, cheap gimmicks and nonsense you can find on THIS list are gone! Moving is a breeze because all our “things” (besides the bed, sofa, and TV) fit in a few boxes 🙂 Awww my favorite feeling.
One of the many reasons we’re so excited about our new place is that the view is open to trees, no more walking path! What do you guys see when you look outside your window? We started feeling a little like we were living in a hamster cage because our windows opened to a walking path that people loved to bring their dogs to, so we happy peeps right now.
As you may have heard, there’s a hurricane that recently f*cked up parts of Texas. In Austin, we lost power for 20 hours & had wind + rain but nothing much larger than our regular storms. Please remember, when you’re thinking of Houston and all the damage it’s done, there are several smaller communities that have been damaged as well & also need help + resources. The less popular babies need attention too 🙂 I have to say, it’s refreshing to run through my Facebook feed and see all my Texas friends coming together to love & support one another. No more wrestling over topics that don’t serve a purpose or creating fights & arguments because we’re bored. There was awhile there I didn’t even check FB. So, proud of Texas right now and proud to be a part of the state.
And mother earth must be freaking PISSED off right now, brewing storms all over the place. EEEk. I pray everyone stays safe & cuddled with their people. Love love love.
I HATE taking pictures. I take them all the time for Instagram & my blog but it’s my least favorite thing to do. People stay interested w/images more than a ton of writing so I know if I want my blog to be what I imagine, it has to include photos. But it’s the hardest piece of the puzzle. Can you be more into yourself than when you’re taking photos, trying to be pretty? Ugh it makes me uncomfortable more than you’d imagine.
When you see pictures of me, this is typically the process. First, I hold the camera & Wafiq poses for it so he can remind me how easy it is. He doesn’t care if other people are looking at him as he tries to act cool for pictures, he models confidently. Once he makes me laugh enough, we switch. He grabs the camera & tells me to do the same thing. Boom, all my pictures.
I’m uncomfortable taking pictures & I know I’m not the only one. Being in a picture these days means you’re likely going to be plastered on social media for everyone’s eyes. Back in the day, a photo was shared w/family & maybe a few friends. Now it’s all eyes on us, all the time! The good side, having these pictures posted everywhere means we’ll easily be able to have the memory. The best part, the memories. So I don’t let myself shy away from taking them.
There are a few, super simple tips I learned in college when pictures really started being a thing. I wasn’t used to my picture being taken & after seeing a few horrible ones I started following these three rules for ALL photos.
I’m back w/a few other kitchen favorites! I’m all about trying new flavors, doing new things, and not getting too comfortable with -anything! Including food. I keep these 5 ingredients in my kitchen most of the time, and think it’s worth a try if you haven’t. Sometimes, when they’re sitting there starring at you, you’re more likely to make use of them. I might not cook w/these guys every day, but they’re common enough ingredients to keep around
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