I feel like I haven’t posted something in a long time, with Juliana taking over I kind of forgot about my blogging duties.
Post-Friend. I think that’s what I’ll talk about in this blog.
Post-Friend. Aka: Juliana visiting for 3 weeks, then leaving.
Due to the amount of people that have dropped notes to me the past week or so, since Juliana has left, I’m guessing there’s some concern about my emotional stability after her departure.
Most people knowing Juliana and I were each others only friends for quite some time (if we’re being honest here), then having her visit me in Dubai after a couple months separation, staying for 3 weeks, followed by the inevitable good-bye… I can see where the concern came from.
Which is why this blog came into existence.
Having Juliana was obviously a blast, and that blast flew by so quickly you could barely feel it. For me, traveling/moving/living in Dubai, whatever you want to call it, had some adjustments that took awhile to get used to. One of the major adjustments I struggled with and still have to work on, is finding and remaining myself.
I know this sounds silly, even for me I kind of laugh out loud when I type it… Finding myself?
Because I’m so strange, all over the place, and kind of weird, what could I possibly mean by finding myself? Does anyone really find themselves? Especially the weird ones? Probably not, but I did feel like I found and recognized my weirdness in the States and am having trouble doing that in Dubai.
Can someone say identity crisis!?!
For example, there is a constant struggle to be confident in my abilities, personality, and thoughts. For some reason, this has been hard for me. I tend to forget how to feel comfortable and confident, or say what I want to say, have honest conversations, or even be the weird and goofy person I am while I’m here in Dubai. I find myself resorting to the shy quiet girl that’s insecure in every move I make… Not all the time, but it’s something I have to work at avoiding, whereas in the States it used be easy peasy and my normal.
Now I feel I should make it clear… Finding myself doesn’t mean sad, depressed, dark, and sleepy. Puffy eyes and crying all the time. No, no no. Thank the good Lord, no. That time has passed.
All of this leads me to Post-Friend.
When Juliana AND Leeann (holy toledo, what a surprise!) came to visit it took me just one single day to feel like myself again.
Not only did I feel confident, comfortable, and most importantly myself around these two sophisticates … They helped me pull that version of myself out around everyone else. I think before they came, I felt SO far away from home. Once they were here I realized I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth. I’m still here, just on the other side. My parents, friends, Bernice, country music, America, organic food, hippies, $5 bottles of wine in the gas stations, Chipotle, and reasonable rent prices are still with me. Just over there in America. And they aren’t going anywhere.
Even after Leeann left, and then Juliana, I felt recharged. So rather than being sad or depressed, I felt and feel great and ready! Ready to really get into work, ready to be my cray cray self, and ready to explore this place in a different, more comfortable way.
I needed both Leeann and Juliana more than I realized. And thank God Leeann came because the three of us together can sure make a lot of progress (and chaos) in a very short amount of time. I’m so grateful for the both of them, and I’m so grateful for the three of us together.
So. Post Friends… I’m still here, and actually walking with a little pep in my step for the time being. Talk to me in the smoking hot summer and I may have another story. But for now, you can find me sitting on my couch watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta after work, in Dubai.